Since many countries were industrialised, we have been living in busy societies and the human’s lifestyle has become like materialistic and individualistic(좋습니다). Therefore, children are pressurised in various ways. I would like to talk about what brings about the pressures and what should be done to improve this situation.
To begin with, materialism and individualism would result in tough competition. Hence, parents may force their children to focus on studying in order to survive in the competition(what competition? 설명 필요합니다). The reason could be because they are aware of how beneficial and valuable benefits and value they can earn when they win the competition in a society. In other words, children would follow the route what parents want them to do go (앞에 route라고 햇으니 go 입니다), regardless of children’s interests.
Furthermore, social corporatives have evaluation systems which require high-education and voluntary activities, not related to the work.(어떻게 관계가 없나요?뭐에 대해서 이야기 하고 있나요) To put it another way, the systems would be one of the factors making more intense competitiveness more and more.
To better this situation, (??)the educational system should be changed to be more flexible. As a result, children would be able to do whatever they prefer to do without the involvement of parents. Moreover, they would realise how important they need to pursue their ideal life for their future. In addition, companies should lessen the level of the assessing systems for hiring people. From that, they could hire appropriate employees without pressurising children who will belong to this society.(레벨을 줄였는데도 똑같은 인재를 얻을 수 있다는 말인가요?그렇가면 그에 대한 이유와 설명 필요합니다)
In conclusion, children would be affected by parents and social environment. Thus, educational and evaluation systems in enterprises should change that children could feel less pressure and respect their own preferences without pressures.