▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, the way people discuss problems with others plays a significant role in people's daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that using e-mail or text message is better than using telephone or voice messaging when they need to discuss upsetting or contoversial problems, while others think differently. If I had to choose one, I would say that it is better to use e-mail or text messaging than to use telephone or voice messaging when they have serious problems. There are several reasons as follows.
To begin with, it is better to use e-mail or text messaging when people need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems because they are likely to have more time to think deeply about a problem and make a better solution when they use text based means. Thinking deeply about a problem allows them to calm down and be rational. When they discuss serious problems with others when they are not upset, it is likely to bring a better result. For example, my youngest brother used to argue aggressively with his friends whenever he had controvesal controversial issues. However, he changed gradually after he started to use e-mail or text message to solve those problems. He realized that his calm and considerable reaction about a problem using e-mail or text message could help him mingle with others more easily while his propmt and agressive prompt and aggressive reaction using telephone or voices messaging negatively affect his bonds with others. Without this experience, he would still have had hard time to mingle with others.
In addition, using e-mail or text messaging is better than using telephone or voice massaging when they have upsetting problems because the problems can be solved easily. Solving controversial problems using e-mail or text message tends to be needed need less time and less energy than using telephone or voice messaging. For example, Tokyo University research team analyzed data from two groups of young adults. One group consited consists of those who had habitually used e-mail or text message and the other group was made up of those who had used telephone or voice massaging when they had serious problems. The researchers found that the first group was more likey likely to solve the problems more easily than the latter. In particular, they spent less time and had less stress about the problems. This implies that using e-mail or text messaging is the key to success in discussion of controversal controversial problems.
All things considered, I strongly believe that the advantage of using e-mail or text message far outweighs that of using telephone or voice messaging when people need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the necessity of using e-mail or text message cannot be overestimated. Good: 24~30 점수: 25 약간의 문법적인 오류가 있습니다. 제가 참석한 것을 보시고 확인 하시길 바랍니다. 이러한 문법적인 오류 이외에는 별로 문제가 없는 에세이인거 같습니다. 각각의 바디의 예시들이 이유를 잘 서포트 해주고 있고. 본인의 의견을 구체적인 설명을 통해 잘 전달되고 있는 거 같습니다. 아주 잘 서술된 독립형 에세이입니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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