독립형 라이팅 때문에 너무너무 속상합니다 ㅠ
작년에 토플시험을 봤을 때는 독립형에서 Fair나 Good이 나왔는데요
갑자기 점수가 필요해서 지난 6월에 2번이나 응시했는데 둘다 Limited가 나왔어요.
나름 영어로 논문도 쓰고 해외나가서 발표도 해서- 영어로 글을 쓰는데 크게 어려움이 없는데요(시간도 안 모자르고 통합형도 늘 Good이 나옵니다)
도대체 무엇이 문제일까요? 6월 첫시험에 Limited가 나왔을 때는 채점이 잘못된 거라고 생각을 했었는데
두번째 시험에서도 Limited가 나오니까 저에게 잘못이 있을 거라는 생각이 크게 드네요.
작년이랑 올해 토플 라이팅 채점기준이 혹시 바뀐 것일까요?
혹시나 해서 제가 평소에 연습하면서 쓴 독립형 올려봅니다. 고수님의 조언이 간절하게 필요해요 ㅜ
- Spending time with family is more important than being at work.
As the colors of the nature are diverse, people have various opinions to the given topic. Some people might think that being at work is more important than being with family. I, however, strongly insist that spending time with family is more essential than spending time at work based on the following two reasons.
To begin with, spending time with family provides a positive effect on his or her work. Providing that their parents not only can give some tips on his or her work but also can cheer him or her up when his or her is depressed due to the conflicts with his or her coworkers, spending time with family increases the efficiency of his or her work. According to research conducted by National Research Center of France, people who spend more time with their family, such as having a dinner or enjoying a leisure, have more productivity at work than people who avoid to spend time with their family have.
On top of that, being with family enhances the life satisfaction. As people share more memory with them, the family relationship becomes better. Furthermore, the strong family bond makes people happier in that family members share a sense of kinship, thus relieving stress. For instance, Jane Lee, my best friend, used to hardly spend time with her family a decade ago. Even though she earned the bulk of money as a lawyer, she was unsatisfied with her life, suffering from insomnia. After, however, she decided to spend 10 hours a week with her family, her life become by far more cherishing. This is because the sense of union between family members made her positive and joyful.
To sum up, spending time with family not only makes his or her life more satisfactory but also enhances the efficiency of his or her work. In this respect, being with family is more imperative/meaningful than spending time at work.