▶ Your Answer :
Some people might say watching television is more helpful than reading a book. However, I strongly believe people acquire more knowledge by reading a book than by watching television. This is because books tend to contain more academic contents and television shows can be misleading. First, books generally contain more academic contents than television. In fact, according to the Department of Education (of Korea? or what?), books encompass a wide range of knowledge, specifically educational ones. In addition, more than forty five percent of television programs are entertainment shows, which mean they do not involve any materials that can be helpful academically (논리적으로 너무 위험한 단정이 아닌지?). When I was in a high school, I fortunately met Ms. Jin (띄어쓰기), my history teacher, who significantly dedicated to expand my knowledge. Ms. Jin required my class to read a books at least once in a week. I really disliked her teaching style, because I did not usually read books and the only source of my joy was watching television. On the other hand,(맥락상 부적절) I was virtually forced to read books in order to get good grades. Surprisingly, I got much higher grades on my test after I started to read books. not only my grades were improved, but also my writing skills were significantly boosted. From this experience, I realized the importance of reading books. Books clearly can be helpful for us either academically or intellectually. On top of that, television programs can contain untruthful and distorted information. (책은 그렇지 않다고 말할 수 있는지?) As a result, people can retain wrong knowledge and believe it is the sole truth. I usually thought hookworm disease occurs very rarely. I was very confident about my view because that is what I saw on the television programs. However, I happened to read books about hookworm disease by chance and I realized such the disease is was ubiquitous; it happens everywhere in every seconds. According to the reading, more than 30 percent of population in Saudi Arabia suffers from such the disease. If I had not read books about hookworm disease, I would have contained limited knowledge on hookworm disease throughout my life. I was able to broaden my perspectives from this experience, and I realized the importance of reading books, again. To sum up, books relatively contain more factual information and televisions can be misguiding. Therefore, I think people significantly learn more by reading a book than by watching television. Writing 0-30 scale Fair (23-25) 관사(a/an, the)를 어떤 경우에 어떤 것을 붙이고 어떤 경우에 붙이지 않는지를 확인해보세요. 그 외 문법상 크게 흠잡을 부분은 적습니다만, 글의 논리성에 의문이 크게 듭니다. TOEFL 독립형 글쓰기는 영어 능력뿐만 아니라 주장을 논리적으로 전개하는 능력을 평가합니다. 주장에 대한 근거로 드는 각 point의 핵심마다 논리적으로 상당히 허술한 부분이 있어 전체 글의 설득력을 크게 떨어뜨립니다. |