▶ Topic : People whose rooms are organizd are more likely to succeed than those whose rooms are not. Do you agree or disagree? 사회성 and time management.
Most people
when they were young once heared their parents say "Tidy your room!".
We know the importance of having an organized room. However, one question may
arise. Is it really true that people whose rooms are organized are more likely
to succeed than those whose rooms are not? I must admit that this is true
because most successful people have a habit of being organized and it proves
how the person is self organized with great time management skills. To some degree, most successful people have a
special habit. Among them, organization skill is definitely important.
We discern one's habit by looking at their behviour confronting
others or their surroundings. Thus, a room where people spend most of their
time is a perfect setting that we can learn about oneself. <- 핵심적인 내용은,
tidy one’s room 와 habit 의 관계 에 대한 설명이 있어야 됩니다. For example, just last week, I visited my friend's house. In
my perspective she is very good at studying. When I entered her room, I
perceived something that is remarkable. All of her books were lined in the
bookshelf and stationeries were placed according to their specfic uses. Pens,
notebooks, erasers were placed in a specific area. I thought this was just because
of her personality of being organzied. However, I soon realized that
organization skills are qualifications of being successful and is highly
reflected by their surroundings, more specifically their rooms. <- Why?? 이런게 habit 이
되었다 등 설명을 해주세요. Next, being organized is trickly linked to time
managing. In mordern society, time management is very important to
survive in the contentious society. Consequently, by being organized one can
successfully manage their time wisely. 어떻게 being organized 가 time manage 에 도움 주는지 이야기 해주세요. In my case, I
never thought of the importance of time management. However, one of my teacher
always emphasized to keep a binder where we can put our homeworks together. At
that moment, I did not feel it was necessary. Later, I found myself struggling
to find past homeworks and some of them were lost. It took me tremendous amount
of time to find a piece of paper in that stack of everyother work. Thus, I
realized that being organized will lead me to be more oriented towards good
time management. In conclusion,
through my experiences stated above, I fully admit that organizing is linked to
time management and habit, which is reflected by looking at one's surrounding,
such as their room. Writing 0-30 Score
Scale Limited (0-16)
Overall Comment: Body 1,2 모두 핵심적인 설명이 없어요. Why? How? 에 대한 설명이 있어야 되요. Habit 을 찾아 볼 수 있다/time management 의
장점 에 대한 에세이 쓰는게 아니에요. Tidy one’s room 과 성공의 관계 에 대한 설명을
해주셔야 됩니다. |