▶ Your Answer : I disagree that companies should be allowed to directly advertise to children under the age of five. Some people think that this statement it is a good way to make some communication and to earn some money for them. But I think this statement have has more bad things when I think. To begin with, children should play with their friends and family rather than taking advertisements. This It is only parents that decide choosing without not considering their children. Also, companies Company consider to their benefit by using young children. They might think that due to the effect of them, consumers leave longer the scene of advertisement so that it is impact of leads to buying something. But children under the age of five form relationship with their peers and start to learn their mother language. Period of this growth needs to get give much of concern and love to them. off-topic. 논제가 묻는 것은 아이를 광고에 출연시키는 것에 대한 내용이 아니라, '5세 이하의 어린이들을 대상으로 한 광고를 내보내는 것'에 대한 내용입니다. Second, when children take some advertisement, it includes parents greed. Some parents think that by earning more money from advertising, it can be help of family budget. By doing that, they can send more leisurely life time. Others think that their children are very cute and active so if they advertise something, they can be popular more and more and they will be a popular entertainer. This case is the one that parents decide their future job themselves. In my experience, I heard from acquaintance familiar with this case. She was in a popular children singer group in Korea and they active to take took some advertisements and music programs under the influence of their parents. Today, however, she became a become high school student and stopped singing to hard study. Her parents think that it was will be her a good job but it was is not. I think children don't have any their will. So sometimes rashly judgement leads another way that anyone didn't think. 마찬가지로 논제가 묻는 내용과 맞지 않는 방향의 답변입니다. Third, Company should consider to children's future. If they take the advertisement, children's face will be known to many people who watch that advertisement. Nowadays, it can be a problem of portrait rights because internet users often use their face to commercial purpose or own home-page. People who I don't know use my face or they want to know about children, it can be serious violation of privacy. 마찬가지로 주제에 맞지 않습니다.
To sum up, companies company should make a right decision when they take advertisement with children under the age of five. Even if they don't know anything about society, they should not consider to make a profit right now but think their own private life. In this regard, I disagree that companies should be allowed to directly advertise to children under the age of five.
Writing 0–30 score scale Limited (1-12)
논제가 묻는 내용을 다시 한 번 정확하게 검토해주세요. 5세 이하 아이들을 대상으로 한 광고의 허용에 대한 답변이 필요한 문제입니다. 문제 내용을 잘못 파악할 경우 아무리 논리가 좋아도 off-topic이기 때문에 대부분의 점수항목에서 감점요인이 됩니다. 논제가 묻는 내용에 알맞은 답변으로 글을 작성할 수 있도록 초기 문제 파악 단계에서부터 유의해주시는 것이 좋습니다. 어색한 단어표현이나 문법오류도 굉장히 많은 편이니 주술호응, 품사활용, 수일치 등에 신경써서 작문해주시기 바랍니다. 수고 많으셨습니다. ^^ |