▶ Your Answer :
In this set of materials,
both the reading passage and lecture deal with several benefits from increasing
cigarettes‘ tax. The lecturer argues that levying a higher tax on tobacco
products does more harm than good. This counters the writer‘s arguments that there are many advantages by increasing cigarettes‘ tax. First
of all, according to the lecturer, the rate of young smokers would not be
decreased. This is because if cigarette prices are up, black markets might more
appear. As a result, purchasing cigarette is more likely to easy since it
would be possible to buy cigarettes without checking ID. Resulting in easier purchasing
even without Identification. This counters the writer’s assertion that increasing the tax on
cigarettes can help for young people to prevent from starting to smoke. Next,
the lecturer goes on to say that a higher tax will not benefit the environment.
This is due to the fact that the total amount of profits from cigarette sales
would be declined. For public investment. Thus, the
government might not put much money on initiating new policies for the
environment.
This contradicts the writer’s claim that a raising tax can aid to improve the environmental
problems by converting many farmlands into a lot of forests. Finally,
the lecturer maintains that the poverty would not be alleviated by increasing cigarette tax. Since
many jobs related with tobacco will be vanished, people are more likely to lose
their jobs, which means the poverty problem will be even severe, not better.
Worsening poverty.
This
challenges the writer’s viewpoint that more social welfare programs for the poor could be
practiced through the raising revenue by a cigarette tax increase. Writing 0-30 Score
Scale Fair (17-23)
Overall Comment : 전체적으로 Points 들 잘잡으셨고, flow 도
좋습니다. 아쉬운 점은 글자수가 너무 많아요. 통합형 글쓰기
에서는 225자 이하를 쓰도록 노력 해주세요. 위에 수정
한 것 처럼, 필요없는 문장들 지워주시고 간결화 해주세요! |