▶ Your Answer :
Some people think
that during an economic crisis, government should close down schools, or lessen
public transit and use the leftover money elsewhere. However, in my opinion, I
think it is best to lessen finance used to support and maintain public libraries.
Libraries are not being used by many people in the present, and if needed, one
can easily get a book through other sources. To begin with, not many people use the library these
days. The main reason is
smartphones. Through smartphones, one can download e-books, and read them when
they wish. Also, smartphones can be used to download games and play them
instead of reading books. This means that people can easily look for books
without having to visit the library, or will not read books at all. <- not many people use 보다는, 대체제가 많이 생겼고, 더 편리하고, 쉽고, 효과적으로 책을 읽을 수 있다 등등 으로 이야기 해주세요. For example, in the
past, many students went to the library to look for books related with what
they were studying at school, or to find a good book to read. Nowadays, if
students have any questions, they simply use their smartphones to browse on the
internet and ask. Meanwhile, public transit and schools are essential for
the transportation and education of students, so these should not be closed
down. On top of that, if one must read a book, they can get books
through other sources at cheap prices. If a person cannot find or borrow a
book at the library, they can simply find a shop that sells used books at cheap
prices. Through this way, one can get the book they need without having to pay
a high price. <- 중고서점 이나 제본, 책 공유 하는 사이트 소개 해주면 좋을거
같아요. For
instance, I needed a book that was related with biochemistry for a class, but I
could not find the book anywhere in the library. Luckily, I was able to find
the same book in a used-book store, and bought it at a cheap price. On the
other hand, if the government lessens the amount of military facilities, a
foreign country might seize the chance and invade the country, so it is best to
lessen library support. To sum up, people
do not use the libraries as often in the past, and can get a hold on books
through stores that sell used books. In this regard, I think it is best to
spend less money on public libraries. + 여기서 military / public
transportation 의 중요성에 대해 이야기 해주세요. Writing 0-30 Score
Scale Good (24-30) Overall Comment: Body 1 에서는 사람들이 도서관을 사용하지 않는다
라는 표현보다, 더 좋은 대체재 가 생겼다 정도로 바꿔주세요.
Body 2 에서도 설명을 조금 더 해주세요. Example 끝에 military/transportation 이야기 하면 통일성이 깨집니다. Conclusion
에 써주세요!
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