▶ Your Answer :
There has been a debate in recent times whether children should master music and art just like they study science and mathematics. As I see it, children should study art and music. This is because not only can art and music make it possible for students to build creativity, but also it can help them relieve stress. To begin with, it will be a great opportunity to develop the ability of creativeness if children should be required to master learn (문제에서 master 수준을 바라지는 않았죠?) art and music. In detail, there are many types of music and art, which stimulate imagination and inspire children. It is integral to be creative and have innovation ideas to stand out in a competitive society. Let me give you an example related my personal experience. When I was junior in primary school, my school announced a new policy that all students were required to study art and music. By taking these subjects, I was able to know how to express my emotion deliberately. As a result, this helped me develop creativity. This case indicated that it is necessary for children to be required to study music and art. On top of that, children can ease their stress by mastering learning art and music. This does not mean that I strongly ignore the demerits of learning music and art in that it would deprive children of their time that should spend be spent on studying science. However, I strongly believe it is one of the most effective types in terms of relieving stress. For example, recently, my brother who is ten years old began to learn art and music that were not possible for him to learn in the past at the school. After taking these subjects, he said I he was able to reduce school-related stress. This is because he could relish music and art without competition during the class although there are heavy competitions in science and mathematics classes. Consequently, he was able to concentrate more in science and mathematics classes, and it brought about a better outcome in school. To sum up, children should be required to master learn art and music. This is because it helps them alleviate stress and enhance creativity. In this regard, I strongly believe that children should study the art and music just like they study mathematics and science. Writing 0-30 scale Good(25-27) 자신의 주장을 지지하는 point를 적절히 선택하고 설명했습니다. 주장이 논리적으로 잘 발달하여 전개되고, 문법 면에서도 흠 잡을 데가 크게 없는 글입니다. 다만, 어울리지 않는 단어의 반복적인 사용과 (master) 일부 문법적 오류(수동태, 간접인용문 등)가 아쉽습니다. |