▶ Your Answer :
Managing
room is very different from students to
studentm. Some students have their room well-organized while others do not. are more likely to be successful by cleaning their room while
others who are not. (문법상 성립하지 않는
문장입니다.) I agree with the statement that students who get their
room organized can be are more successful than those who are do not.
First, students can get a better environment by cleaning their room. Students
would not waste time looking for study materials and can study much
efficiently. So, they would be able to get sufficient knowledge and be successful in their future. For example, this is the time When I was in high school,
I had a lot of difficulties with studying when I study because my room was not usually
cleaned. However, one day, I had a consultation talked with my teacher about getting distracted when
studying and she told me to make my room tidy. Surprisingly, it had been became
much easier for me to study in my room since I organized everything in my room it. So Now, this helped
me to get in a better workplace.
Second,
students can form a good habit by organizing their rooms. If they start
cleaning their room every time, they can develop useful habits. By cleaning
their surroundings, they could give a good impression of themselves to other people and can get good reputation,
which would lead them to succeed. For instance, when my father was young, he
never left his room unorganized and could get a good habit. The Time passed and
when he finally had a job, he also made his office room cleaned as he did in
the past. Everyone including his boss in his workplace started treating him
well and even his boss promoted him because he gave them a good first impression by keeping his desk room clean. If he had not cleaned his room
since his childhood, he would not have developed a good habit which could be became
very useful for
in his future.
To
sum up, students who keep their room clean can be more successful because
organized rooms make a good environment and habits for students to study. It
helps them to use time more effectively while studying and enhance make their
first impression better with their cleaning room habits. I hope every
student lives their life happier and successful by keeping their room
clean.
Writing
0-30 scale
Fair(20-23)
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지지하는 point를 적절히
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하지만
문법과 표현 상 어색한 부분이 많습니다. 본문의 첨삭을 확인하고 더 공부하세요.
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