▶ Your Answer :
The recent issue of whether parents today
are more involved in their children's education than parents in the past is
thought-provoking. Some people say that educating children today is not really
different from the past, but I firmly believe that parents of today invest a
lot on their children's education.
To begin with, today, it becomes common
that parents set a strategy for their children's education. In the past,
parents did not care about which subjects their children should focus on, and
let them free. However, due to fierce competition of today, parents set a plan
for how they teach their children, and let their children to follow. This
change created a job named education cunsultant as well. 부모가 자녀 교육에 개입하는 정도를 묻는 문제이므로 흐름상 관련 없는 문장입니다. This is because
entering a good university becomes more important than before. According to a
survey conducted with a famous research firm, 500 mothers were asked whether
they were involved in with setting plans of their children's studies.
Surprisingly, more than 70 percent of the respondents said they work together
with their children from setting a goal to making a daily plan, while only 20
percent of the respondents gave the same answer in the same survey of 20 years
ago. This demonstrates that more parents are involved in setting involve to set a goal and planning plan for
children's education.
On top of that, children today receive a
lot of private education. In the past, education educations by the Government was the
almost all about children's education. However, there are many kinds of private
education programs that parents let their children take. By introducing priviate
teachers and institution, parents want their children to learn more advanced
things than official education. The recent statistics announced by National
Statistics Office can be used to prove this point. The average educational cost
per one child children has tripled in 20 years, while the tution fee of the official
school increased only 20 percent over the same period time. 비용이 세 배나 늘었다는 것이 왜 부모의 자녀교육에 대한 관심도 증가와 연결되는지를 설명해주세요. As the statistics
shows, parents want their children to get more education and pay much more
money for that.
To sum up, it is evident that parents today
are more involved in their children's education than before. To be specific,
parents set a study plan instead of their children and bring them to private
institutions. Writing 0–30 score scale Fair (17-23) 기본적으로 제시된 두 주장 모두 논제에 대한 답변으로 적합합니다. 다만 사설학원에 보내거나 개인교사를 붙여주는 것과 '부모가 자녀교육에 더 많이 관여하는 것'이 직접적인 연관이 있는지가 좀 애매한 것 같아요. 단순히 자녀교육에 관심을 많이 갖는다는 것을 넘어서서 '부모가 관여한다'라는 입장까지 연결되도록 표현을 더 보완해보면 좋을 것 같아요. proof-reading을 통해서 문법오류도 줄일 수 있도록 시간배분 신경써주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다. ^^
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