The lecturer asserts that the problems that exist in the manned mission to Mars
can be overcome.
First of all, the lecturer
talks that the dust attached to the space ship panel and to the astronauts’ suits can be blown
away by using sound technology. When high pitched sound occurs, the minute
dusts can be detached from the surface of the panels and suits, no more
interrupting space expedients. This counters the reading material’s argument that the dust attached to the panel of spaceships and
suits makes the space trip difficult.
Secondly, the speaker
explains that the depression of astronauts, which is caused by long isolation
from friends and family, can be prevented in advance, because astronauts’ training programs
contain mental exercises that make astronauts to be accustomed to extended
isolation from the earth. Also the lecturer insists that even when an
astronaut is suffered from the depression or a mental illness during the trip
to Mars, diverse types of counseling such as video therapy are available to
them. This assertion again rebuts the reading passage that suggests that the
astronauts will be suffered from mental problems.
Finally, the lecturer
argues that the financial burden is not risky. Since 1998, 15 countries have
been collaborating to operate the manned mission to Mars. Also, since while
trying a space trip to Mars, a lot of technological developments are
naturally resulted, have resulted during space trip operations. the operation of the manned
mission to Mars deserves to continue. This disagrees that reading’s conclusion that
the financial burden is hard to overcome.
Writing 0-30 Score
Scale
Fair (17-23)
Overall Comment : 전체적으로 Points 들은 잘 잡았지만, 요약이
제대로 되지 않았어요. Body 2,3 에서는 redundant information
도 있었고, 문장도 너무 길어요. 225자 이하로
쓰도록 노력 해보세요. Key point 중심으로 쓰도록 노력 해주시고, 문장들도 간결화 해주세요!