▶ Your Answer :
The given topic of
whether university professors should focus on educating students rather than on
researching is thought-provoking. Some people think that it is better for
university professors to focus on researching. However, in my opinion that
concentrating on educating students
should be university professors’ top
priority for the following reasons.
First of all, students have the right to take high
quality classes. To be specific,
students pay a lot of tuition fees to learn precious lessons from their
professors in order to become professionals in their fields. <- 설명 더 해주세요. 학교에서 주인공은 학생들이다. 학생들에게 최고의 교육을 주는게 학교의
주된 목표이다. 등등 My personal experience can be used to prove this point. When I entered a
university, I expected to learn valuable information and knowledge through
taking classes because I paid a lot of money. However, most of the professors
focused on researching and I was not able to get much information out of my
classes. I regret entering the university and I felt like I wasted money.
Therefore, professors should concentrate on education to give their students
valuable lectures rather than on researching .
Second, university professors should usher their students
into the right direction by teaching them precious lessons and values. Some students are immature to have thorough
understandings of life and are likely to become incapable of coping with their
problems at pivotal moments of their lives. At such time, professors enlighten
their students about important values and lend a helping hand to become a
better member of their society. <- 이것이 왜 중요한지 설명 해주세요. 졸업후에 단순히 지식을 쌓는
것 보다, 사회생활에 대한 tip/조언 들이 많이 중요하고, professor 의 중요한 역할 중 하나이다. According a
renowned sociologist, it is evident that students can attain the goal of
becoming a mature adult in a much more effectual way when they learn as many
things as possible from their teachers. <- How? In this
respect, university professors should prioritize education.
To sum up,
professors should concentrate on educating students because they can usher
their students into the right direction by providing valuable lectures, and
students also have the right to get well-prepared lectures. Considering all of
these reasons, offering good education to students should be university
professors’
top priority.
Writing 0-30 Score
Scale
Fair (17-23)
Overall Comment : Idea 는 좋았어요. 아쉬운 점은 설명 부분이 다소 부족 했어요. Body
모두 why? How? 에 대한 설명을 더 해줘야 됩니다.
제가 위에 코멘트 한 부분을 예시로, 본인 만의 의견을 생각 해보세요! |