▶ Your Answer :
Various opinions may exist over the
argument that when you have been friends with someone for a long time, it is
important to continue your friendship even if he or she does something you do
not like. As far as I am concerned, I am complete agreement with this argument.
The two ideas stated below can be a valid evidence to support my view. First
of all, we should try to understand friends’
behaviors or thinking. It is not impossible to have the same values even if
he or she has been an old friend because all people grew in diverse background
with different experiences. In the rapidly changing and competitive
environment, old friends are more precious and valuable. Thus, we should not
break up a precious friendship and make an effort thinking the friend’s situation
deliberately. I believe when we try to think deeply and understand a friend,
the friendship can become stronger. In addition, we can enhance insights and
outlooks of the world, also our horizons are broader. 뒷 부분 설명 보다, 다 다른 환경에서
자랐고 생각 하는게 달라서 인정 해야 된다 라는 설명을 더 해주세요. + 서로 맞춰가는게 진정한 friendship 이다라고 설명 해주세요. Example 도 써주세요. On top of that, we can solve a problem through deeper conversations with friends. Since
there are always conflicts in any relationships, we should not avoid facing
problems in human relationships. If you do not like a friend’s behavior, you can
talk about the behavior with the friend naively. Because old friends know well
each other, we can probably understand and might not feel bad. + 이런 과정 속에서 친구에 대해서 더 잘 알수 있는 기회가 된다. According to a survey about friendship, a majority of
respondents answered that they have conflict once more with their friend, and
alleviate the problem by talking seriously for a long time. Also, they responded the best and
wisest way to release negative feelings among friends is to have deeper
conversations and if it had not been for conversations, they could not have
kept good relationships. <= Why?? Thus, if we do not like friends’ behaviors, we should be open-minded
and try to talk with friends. Taking all of these reasons into
consideration, we should agree with the argument because we are able to keep
friendships when we try to understand friends and have a heart-to-heart with
friends. Needless to say, there is no doubt in my opinion, continuing a
friendship is important for a better friendship. Writing 0-30 Score
Scale Fair (17-23)
Overall Comment : 전체적으로 아이디어는 좋습니다. 설명 부분을 조금 더 해주세요. Body 1 에서는 위에 코멘트 한 부분 처럼 고쳐 주세요. Body 2 에서는
단순히 problem solve 할 수 있다 보다, 이것
또한 friendship 을 오히려 강화 하고 서로 주의 하는 계기가 된다 라고 써주면 좋을거 같아요.
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