▶ Your Answer :
In modern society, most people
prefer to enter a major company because of high annual salary and pride. On the
other hand, there are some people who want to join a little company. That’s because they consider
that company atmosphere is one of the most important thing when they choose a
company, and we generally think that a small firm has familiar atmosphere with
coworkers. Perhaps working in a small firm has its advantages, but I prefer to
working in a big corporation. There are different reasons excepting what I
mentioned. I believe that it is much more effective
for us to develop ourselves. A major company has a variety assignments which we
can learn.
Although a small one has similar tasks, it is less specialized. A corporation
has a systemic education curriculum and businesses are subdivided by fields. It
helps people increase their professionality about their field. Since they have
various business, workers can access new one. They could expand their business
area by learning the new thing. Such efforts would develop the company, and the
workers have more opportunities to challenge a new career such as overseas
expansion. 대기업 Example
로 들면 좋을거 같아요. Not only that, but a major company has an
examination for promotion. Promoting a person through the exam is a fair way. Several firm
advance a worker by reason of that he or she have worked for years. Or is promoted according to
seniority. I think
it is an unreasonable method because some people do not have appropriate
business capabilities. Most employer evaluate their employees’ results to promote.
Occasionally an immoral superior at work steals new recruit’s ideas. The employees who suffer these unjust work knows it is a
false activity but they could not demand an explanation. We also always need to
have an effort to improve our ability. People are tend to become complacent and
lazy. Therefore, the exam needs for people to arouse their attention because if
they experience that a colleague who were hired at the same time promotes
earlier than them, they would receive a great impulse. It is a good stimulus to
develop our capability. <- big companies 들은
exam 있고, small company 는 나이로 promote 된다는 의견은 설득력이 떨어집니다. 이건 size 문제가 아니라 Culture 문제 아닌가요. 만약 아니라면, 왜 big company
는 실력 based, small company 는 나이 based
인지 설명 해주세요. To make
a long story short, there are numerous benefits for us as well as earning a
good living. I believe that entering a big corporation is a great choice to
enhance my career. Writing 0-30 Score
Scale Fair (17-23)
Overall Comment : Body 1 설명은 좋았어요. 대기업 이야기 하면서, 여러가지
skills 을 쌓는 employee 이야기 하면 좋을거
같아요. Body 2 설명은 설득력이 떨어졌어요. 당연하게
big company 는 실력 based/ small company 는
나이 based 라고 주장 했지만, 왜 그러는지 이유 밝혀야
되야 됩니다. Over-generalized 된거 같네요. |