▶ Your Answer : Some people prefer to travel that with a tour guide that lead the tourists because it
is more comfortable. The reason is that people who take a trip with a guide and they do not need to make a travel
plans. However, I prefer to choose a free traveling that take a trip without a guide.
There are two reasons to show why I think it is better. First of all, As mentioned above, generally, these
a package tour already makes a plans and a tour
guide introduces the destination and provides a lot of information. Travelers
could enjoy the trip comfortably by paying the price about for a guide. For the reason, a
free traveling is much cheaper <-이것이 이 문단의 첫 문장에 오는 것이 적절합니다 than hiring a tour guide. Not only
that, but also I think preparing their trip personally is more enjoyable and
feel great. To be specific, I went on a package trip to overseas for
7 years ago. Although I spent a great time with my mom, I felt inconvenience
because I did not have enough information about that area, so I
just followed the tour guide, and even now, I do not
remember the name of island which I visited. If I had searched the
data about the country, I would have visited all
boundary which I was interested in. If I have the opportunity to go on a
trip with my mom again, I would want to make a plan by myself, and have a
more pleasant time. I think that I can acquire a good experience by preparing a
travel. ->이 내용은 위에 cheaper 내용과 구별되는 내용이므로, 새로운 문단에서 설명해주세요 Another reason is that it allows people to be free during a travel.
Sometimes, people could be in a bad condition. In this situation, if a person went a group
travel, they could not take a rest alone because the travel already is made a
schedule and all a group members should move together. For example, I had a cold and ache when I
went to a trip. I should have taken a rest in a hotel room. I had to stay the
bus over the course of the day because we moved to another area. Taking on a
free trip is more flexible, so and travelers can change the schedule when they are tired. It is one
of the greatest merits in travel. Like this, compared with a group traveling led by a tour guide, a free
traveling has a lot of advantages. It facilitates for people to go
anywhere which they want to and to alter the schedule depending on their
condition. For these reasons, I disagree that the statement that ~. Writing 0–30 score
scale Limited-Fair (14-18)
에세이의 구조가 어색한 점이 아쉬운데, 한 문단안에 두 가지 근거가 들어가있어 보이므로 문단을 새로 만들어 설명해주세요. 또한 근거의 첫 문장은 근거의 요지와 주장을 연결시켜 이 문단의 핵심을 한 마디로 설명하는 문장이 되는 편이
좋습니다. 사소한 기본적인 문법 실수들이 종종 있으므로 실수하지 않도록 주의해주세요. 수고 많으셨습니다^^ |