■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. You response will be judge on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : parents invonvlement in their childrens education is greater nowadays than in the past. do you agree or disagree? |
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▶ Your Answer : Some people may argue that parents' involvement in their children's education has decreased as more parents want their children to find their potential by themselves. However, In my opinion, parents involvement in their chidren's education is greater nowadays than in the past for the following reasons. First, the development of technology has made learning easier, thus more parents provide various learning programmes to their children. Next, more parents are aware that competition in becoming fierce.
FIrst of all, due to the development of technology, especially the internet, in modern days, people should admit that it is so much easier to obtain information about education. when society was underdeveloped, many people had to spend tremendous amount of time and effort to provide important source of information to support their children's education. However, as technology has become more closer and closer to the cutting edge, parents today can find information so much easier and faster than before. For example, in the past, parents were only provided with information on university for their children through visiting each university. Alternatively, their children were the only way to gain information provided by school. However, due to the advance of internet, there are various websites which talk about university requirements and university itself. Thus, as it is easily accessible to important pre-knowledge about universities, it is ture that more parents are involved in their chidren's education.
Next, there are more concerns by parents about the fierce competion in university applications. Parents are more involved in children's education so that their children acquire an outcompeting advantage in the future over other univeristy applicant candidates. This is because people face fierce competitions since their are too many candidates with not so many space available to accept all the students. Consequently, it has become extremely difficult to find suitable and prominant unviersities. According to a survey conducted from Seoul National University, it is known that over 60% of Korean middle school students attend after school activities to enhance their English skills. Also, tremendous amount of income of a family is spent on children's education. This proves that more concerns about future competition led parents to be involved in children's education.
in conclusion, more parents are involved in children's education for the reasons stated above. |
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Some people may
argue that parents' involvement in their children's education has decreased as
more parents want their children to find their potential by themselves.
However, in my opinion, parents’ involvement in their children's education is
greater nowadays than in the past for the following reasons. First, the
development of technology has made learning easier, thus more parents provide
various learning programmes(programs) to their children. Next,
more parents are aware that competition in becoming fierce.
First of all, due
to the development of technology, especially the internet, in modern days,
people should admit that it is so much easier to obtain information about
education. When society was underdeveloped, many people had to spend
tremendous amount of time and effort to provide important source of information
to support their children's education. However, as technology has become more
closer and closer to the cutting edge, parents today can find information
so much easier and faster than before. For example, in the past, parents were
only provided with information on university for their children through
visiting each university. (information 얻어서 어떻게 involve하는지 구체적으로 설명하세요) Alternatively, their children were the only way to gain
information provided by school. However, due to the advance of internet, there
are various websites which talk about university requirements and university
itself. Thus, as it is easily accessible to important pre-knowledge about
universities, it is ture(true) that more parents are involved in their chidren's(children’s) education. (예시가 없습니다.)
Next, there
are more concerns by parents about the fierce completion(competition) in university
applications. Parents are more involved in children's education so that their
children acquire an outcompeting advantage in the future over other university(university) applicant
candidates. This is because people face fierce competitions since there
are(is) too many
candidates with not so many space available to accept all the students.
Consequently, it has become extremely difficult to find suitable and prominant
unviersities(prominent universities). According to a survey conducted from
Seoul National University, it is known that over 60% of Korean middle school
students attend after school activities to enhance their English skills. Also,
tremendous amount of income of a family is spent on children's education. This
proves that more concerns about future competition led parents to be involved
in children's education.
In conclusion,
more parents are involved in children's education for the reasons stated above.
(이유들을 요약하세요)
Writing 0-30 Score Scale
Fair (17-23)
Overall Comment: 본론의 첫 번째 문단에서 부모님들이 정보를 더 받는다는
디테일이 많은데 그 information을 어떻게 사용하고 어떻게 활용해서 자식들의 교육에 interfere 하는지 설명하지 않았습니다. 스펠링 오류가 많습니다. 글 쓴 후, 꼭 검토해주시길 바랍니다. 사소한 문법 오류도 많습니다. 결론에서는 맺음말 표현하기 전 이유들을
간단히 요약하세요.