▶ Your Answer : It is debatable whether students should be given homework on a daily basis. This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can be different relying depending on the individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support that giving homework to students every day is not efficient, for the following reasons. First of all, giving assignment every day makes students be stressed. To be specific, daily homework force students to stay at home all day long, which as a result makes students be depressed. Stress is the main cause of disease and a dissatisfying life. So today's students need to actively find ways to reduce stress and stay healthy. For example, when I was young, I was pushed to do daily assignments. I did not have any time to play with my friends. I was always exhausted. So I decided to suggest that the teacher should reduce daily homeworks, and all my classmates agreed with that. My homeroom teacher accepted my assertion suggestion. I finally relieved stress and I could be healthier than before. Though this experience, I realized that giving tasks every day increases (주어는 giving, 즉 단수.) students' stress. Thus, it proves that giving assignments on a daily basis is harmful for students' heath. In addition, teachers should not give daily assignment to students, because this prevents student from building relationships with friends. To be specific, students need to learn how to build relationships through communicating exchanging their thoughts and connecting to each other's feelings. But if students have to do homework all day long, they can not spend time communicating their views which as a result bother them not to build relationships. Building relationships is a great way to develop the increasingly important social, interpersonal and communication skills. To illustrate For example, Steve Jobs, who is was the founder of Apple, made great accomplishments in his lifetime. I read online that he was very successful because he made meaningful relationships and networks with people. It proves that building relationships is important in our lives. Thus I think that students should spend much time building relationships with people than doing homework. All things concerned, it is my belief that my argument has been effectively and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget that this issue may have a huge impact on our future. Writing 0-30 scale Fair(23-25) 문장마다 줄을 바꾸지 말고 문단마다 바꾸세요. 쉼표 쓸 자리에 마침표를 쓰는 경우가 많습니다. 주어-동사의 수일치가 어긋나는 경우가 많습니다. 결론이 부실해지면 글의 균형이 깨집니다. 지금 쓰신 결론은 결국 글의 주제는 전혀 언급하지 않고 아무 글에나 가져다 붙일 수 있는 문장입니다. 주장을 짧게 요약하고 각 point를 한 줄 정도로만 정리해도 충분합니다. 그 외 일부 어색한 표현 및 문법은 본문의 첨삭을 참고하세요. |