▶ Your Answer : There has been always an argument about whether it is profitable
to eat at home or eat at the restaurant. Some people argue that it is better to
eat at restaurants as it allows us to consume various food whenever or whever?? we want, however one
question may arise from this assertion : Is it actually true that it is better
than home-made food? This essay will discuss about opinions that contends that
cooking and eating at home is better than eating at restaurants. First of all, homemade food tends to be more fresh and reliable
in terms of knowing what particular ingredients we use to produce it. Despite
the cost that we must bear, it provides us with much healthier food than that
of restaurant foods. For example, the sanitary problems of restaurant kitchens have
always been a controversial issue as it revealed the actual preparation of the
food that we buy. ->즉 일반적으로 레스토랑의 위생이 더 나쁘다고 알려져있다는 건가요? 아니면 위에서
말했듯이 우리가 그 재료들을 알 수 없기 때문에, 우리가 알 수 있는 집 음식이 더 낫다는 것인가요? In this regard, one may
believe that it is always4 better to eat at home than eat outside. On top of that, it may be more comfortable to eat alone or with
a family at home than eating in a public area. People normally feel much more comfortable when they are eating
at a common area where they are more accommodated to and this may be one
of the reasons why some people are willing to stay at home rather than being
outside. For example, most parents with children of young age may prefer to
stay at home during their meals so that they can also look after their
children. In this case, they will always be seeking for a special area for
their children or may feel burdensome to take their children with them to the
restaurants. In conclusion, for the reasons stated above, despite the
consumption of time and effort to make one's own meal, I strongly assert that
it is much better to eat at home in terms of cost, comfort and reliability of homemade food. Writing 0–30 score scale Fair (22-24)
사소한 오타들이 있으므로 이에 주의하시는 것이 좋겠습니다.
근거들 모두 설득력있는데, 각 근거에서 실제 통계자료나 본인의 경험 등을 조금 더 구체적으로
언급해주면 더 내용이 풍부해지겠습니다. 또한 conclusion에서
제시된 cost문제는 오히려 첫 번째 근거에서 가격이 비싸더라도 homemade
food가 more reliable하다-라고
말했으므로 흐름상 삭제하는 편이 좋겠습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다^^ |