The
lecturer argues that the private fossil collection does not harm to the
public and the scientist. This is
because more fossils could be opened to the public, should be
identified by experts before collecting, and have more chance to be excavated <- 이러한 이유 때문에 does not harm
the public 되지는 않습니다. This is because 사용 부적절합니다. . This directly contradicts to the reading passage’s claim that
commercial fossil business is unacceptable.
First, the lecturer points out that the
private collectors enable more people to see their collections at ease.
This is because not only do they display their collections in a prestige
museum, but also donate them to the small public schools or libraries to be
seen by public people. This refutes the reading passage’s claim that the
ordinary people are deprived of the chances to see the private collection since
the collection is not intended to expose to the public.
Second,
the lecturer asserts that the scientists can value the relics before
collecting. Even though the commercial collectors want to sell or buy the
fossils, they need to be examined and tested by experts first. As long as the
experts do their jobs, the value of the old remains would not be
underestimated. <-
scientists 가 value 하는 것과 reading 에서 나온 ‘access’ 가 같은 내용인가요? 조금 더 clear 하게 써주세요. This rebuts the reading
passage’s claim that the scientist lose their chance to access to the
fossils.
Last,
the lecturer contends that it is better for amateur collectors to excavate more
remains than being
undiscovered. Even if some collectors make a mistake
or destroy the important scientific evidence in fossils with careless and
inexperienced excavation, they still contribute to the field of anthropology.
This is because they are willing to dig dirt wherever they are. This casts
doubt on the reading passage’s claim that private collectors should be banned for the fossil
destruction.
Writing 0-30 Score
Scale
Fair (17-23)
Overall Comment : Introduction
clarify 해주세요. Points 1,2,3 굳이 안 써주셔도
됩니다. 통합형에서는 간결하게 글을 적어주세요. Body 2 points
unclear 했어요. Listening/reading 대응 되도록 써주세요. 전체적으로 225자 이하로 적을수 있도록 노력 해보세요. 내용 전체적으로 간결화/요약 해주셔야 됩니다.