▶ Your Answer :
In order to be
a good supervisor, there are a lot of qualities that a supervisor need to have:
leadership, honesty, responsibility, social skills, communication skills, and
interpersonal skills. Although all of these are good qualities, I think
managing people skills and responsibility play a significant role in being a
good boss. First of all,
whether one can become a good supervisor or not depends upon managing skills. This includes
motivating, guiding and understanding. <- 왜 포함 되는지 설명을 더 해주세요. 당연하게 적으시는것보다, 설명을 해주세요. If supervisors have these abilities, most workers will follow
and admire their boss. <- Why? When I worked in the hospital as a nurse, for instance, my
headnurse was a person who was good at managing her nurses. She encouraged me
to care patients by telling her past experiences. In addition, when my
knowledge was not enough to treat patients and my nursing ability was not
skillful, she always taught me and understood my feeling with a big smile. I
was really motivated and gained not only knowledge about nursing but also
confidence.<- managing skills = motivating, guiding and understanding 으로 보기 힘든거 같아요.
구체적으로 manage 에 focus 하는게
일관성 있을거 같아요. On top of that, many people believe that boss should take a
responsibility for their team members or company. I totally agree this
statement. If leaders did -> do not have a sense of responibility, it would cause problems from
minor to severe in extent. <- Why? I am sure you heard about the news about Sewol Ho. This is a
good example for what I explain to you. This ship sinked under the sea due to
the collision and many victim of this accident passed away. However, they could
escape from the ship unless there is no captain's irresponsibility. When the
accident occured, the captain instructed people who were riding in a ship to
wait in the cabin. They followed his direction and he left the ship, leaving
his crews and passengers. Consequently, the captain is still alive but more
than 300 people did not abandon a ship finally. In this regard, supervisors
should be responsible for their members and tasks. 세월호 선장 과 Boss/supervisor
는 연관성이 조금 떨어져요. 선장/운전기사 를
boss 로 보지는 않습니다. To sum up, I
firmly believe a good supervisor should have a ability to manage their
workers and take responsibility anytime. This will enhance workers' performance and enable them
to make great results. Therefore, in order to be a good boss, people need to
possess these qualities. Writing 0-30 Score
Scale Limited (0-16)
Overall Comment : 글이 전체적으로 일관적이지 않습니다. Body 1 에서 managing
skill 에 대해 이야기 할거면, ‘manage’ 이야기 해주세요. Body
2 설명에서, 왜 responsibility 가 중요한지
설명이 없어요. 구체적으로 책임감 없으면 무슨 일이 있는지 본인 언어로 먼저 풀어주세요. 문제에서 제시한 manager/boss 는 아래 사람들을 리드 및 다스리는
사람들이에요. 세월호 선장 예시는 부적절합니다.
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