▶ Your Answer :
Natural
resources such as forests, animals, or clean water play significant roles in
various aspects, but are disappearing nowadays. Considering its importance, we should
conserve all of them. Especially, I think that mankind has to save the
forests firstly because of two reasons as follows; we use trees in the
forests in many fields, and forests are necessary for ecosystems.
First of all, because a considerable amount of
trees is used in diverse areas, the forests should be saved. A lot of tree comprising
the forests are practically used for mankind's life because they are
exploited to various fields such as making paper, fabricating medicines, and
constructing buildings. Therefore if most of forests are vanished, it affects
would
significantly affect the daily life of human being in bad way negatively. For example,
many nations where they are located in a desert have difficulty a hard time
establishing buildings because of a lack of trees. Because there is are almost no trees
needed to construct the buildings in the desert, they cannot erect the enough buildings that they desire. This example
can best illustrate the importance of forests.
Secondly, we should conserve the forests, in terms
of its roles to protect ecosystem as well as the Earth. To be specific, the
forests contribute to life significantly. First, in that they protect
ecosystems from global warming. Because trees absorb carbon dioxide causing
global warming, these prevent the temperature of the Earth from increasing. In
addition, the forests can be used to purify atmosphere. A number of leaves in
trees can purify impurities in air. Actually, Chinese government is suffering from
negative material in air use the trees to purify air. If a significant
amount of trees are vanished, air containing impurities causes human's illness.
In conclusion, although there are many things to
be conserved, I think that the forests should be saved firstly. They contribute
to not only human's daily life, but also ecosystem's stability.
채점기준표
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Grammar
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Contents
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Example
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Coherence
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점수
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2
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3
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3
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3
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Score
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Fair 18-19
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글의 방향은 일관성 있게 서술을 하여 주셨는데 문법표현적인 측면에서 조금 문제가 되는 것 같아요. Carbon dioxide 같은 경우는 먼저 temperature를 올리는데 영향을 미치고 tree가 이러한 harmful chemical 을 잡아준다는 형식으로 표현해주셔야 합니다. 첫번째 논지 역시 diverse area라는 주장이 두번째와도 겹칠 수 있기 때문에 한정적으로 만들어 주세요.
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