▶ Your Answer :
(General statement
is needed) Some people argue that studying alone is more beneficial than studying in
a group. However this is not true for the two following two reasons which I
am going to elaborate in this essay. First, studying
with other people enhance mutual relationship which
is crucial in studying. In today’s complex society, it is important that
building helpful relationship with others. Also, good relationship can result
better lead to better result in studying. A research conducted by UCLA
Research Department shows how relationship helps study. They compare two groups; one group studied
alone, the other group studied with other people. The result, surprisingly, shows
showed that the group that studied with other people got get 56% higher score
than the other group. Therefore, we can conclude that relationship helps get
better result in studying. Second, studying with my friend is fun.
When I studied physics with my friend in group, I think it is far more fun than
studying alone. To be specific, when I encounters difficult problems, I
can ask my friend so I can to solve it more easily with my friend. Also we can
exchange some personal tips about studying physics. This
bring me not only good grade, but also delight when studying. On the whole, I
believe I stated enough that studying with friends is far more beneficial than
studying alone with two concrete evidence. Since views of life are different by
individuals, I think this topic will remain controversial. (Don’t claim to be
neutral)
채점기준표
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Grammar
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Contents
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Example
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Coherence
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점수
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3
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3
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2
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2
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Score
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Fair 18-19
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첫번째
logic에서 relationship
which is crucial in studying 와 연관 지어 설명해주려면 mutual이라는 단어를 써서 보다 상세하게 연결 지어 주는 것이 좋습니다. 두번째 logic은 다소 simple하게 suggest되었어요. Formal essay에서는 보다 the use of advanced vocabulary and
sentence structure 를 require하기 때문에 문장구조의 quality를 더 개선하여 주세요.
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