▶ Your Answer :
Some people prefer to watch a performance on television because it is more comfortable for them to
enjoy alone or with a few friends. However, I think it is much more enjoyable
to go to a live show or sports game in
that watching a performance directly gives us
more great pleasure. First, there are a different enjoyments
that you can experience by attending a performance. If you watch a sport game
with your friends, you can feel the excitement with cheering. For example, there
is are several many people often go to
a baseball stadium to share their joy with many people. Although they are not a big fan of baseball game, they just go there to have lots of fun with
their friends. They also can relieve stress with enthusiastic cheering such as
singing a fight song. I was not interested in baseball game but I have known
fun after I went to a ball park. I felt a lot of interest at that time and now
I love baseball game. Second, when people go to a concert hall to watch a play,
they can focus better on the play. They can see actors’ vivid face, gestures and all hall’s mood. It makes people feel more great sentiment while watching them in
person not only fun but also sad about drama. And that helps
people to be easy to understand the art. Likewise, going to watch a music concert provides
opportunities for you to enjoy with a singer. A famous singer (Who is he?) has numerous fans because he always shows
passionate concert enjoying with audience. Not only that, but a pianist concert
gives you feel his passion by listening his play. Like this, there are a lot of
chances that people can interact with many people by attending a concert To summarize, going to watch a live performance helps
people spend a vibrant time with other and they can relieve stress. I think it
is much better than watching the event at home alone.
채점기준표
|
Grammar
|
Contents
|
Example
|
Coherence
|
점수
|
2
|
2
|
2
|
2
|
Score
|
Limited 15-18
|
many people은 general thought에서의 표현으로는 괜찮지만 예시에서 설득력 있게는 표현되지 않기 때문에 특정인물 혹은 자신의 경험을 예로 들을 수 있도록 해주세요. 두번째 예시의 singer 역시 분명히 밝혀지지 않았어요. 명확히 describe 해주시고 art에 관해서도 한정적으로 표현하시면 안됩니다.
|
|