Due to the development of technology, students are more exposed
to the Internet uses
when they do their assignments or projects. Some people believe that with the
help of the Internet, students are able to learn more
effectively and reduce their time to finish their tasks. However, in my
opinion, I believe that Internet usage is unnecessary
and rather distracts their work in the
following way.
First of all, there are a lot of
schools that adopted computer
system the usage of PC to assign class homeworks.
(So that?) Students use online materials to study and do their
assignments, however, this distracts many students from doing
their work. For example, in my school, (University or high school?) our math teacher always assigned us weekly
homework using the through online material. However, it
did not help me and rather distracted me because whenever I
access the internet, I spent my time doing games on the
computer rather than concentrating on the works.
Next, the real exams our done on papers and therefore
it is always preferable to do the work by hands as
under given that most exams
are paper based condition.
The exams are never not done thorugh online
and therefore it is always better to work using a real pen or a pencil
so that students are more well adapted to it.
To add on to that, there is always are a lot of health issues that occurs when students are exposed on
the Internet for a long period of time. It especially provokes eye
problems when they are exposed to the bright light of the screen.
In conclusion, the technological development changed a
lot of the aspects of our life. Students these
days are familiar with using e-book and do assignments on the computer but this
brings negative impacts more than benefits. In this regard, I firmly disagree
with the use of internet and therefore students must be encouraged to use paper
books that also provides which
provide a wide range of
information.
채점기준표
|
Grammar
|
Contents
|
Example
|
Coherence
|
점수
|
2
|
2
|
2
|
2
|
Score
|
Limited 13-17
|
글의 문장들이 끊어지는 부분이 많아 흐름이 다소 자연스럽지 못한 느낌이 있네요. 또한 spelling error 와 잘못된 표현들이 많이 있어 grammar part에서 많이 감점이 되었습니다. 또한 주장은 인트로에서 briefly 하게 밝힌 것처럼 그대로 바디의 topic sentence에서 나타내주셔야 합니다.
|
|