Univesities Universities spend money
differently in order to enhance develop their campus and allow
students to study in a better place. The way that universities spend their
money has always become a prevalent topic of debate. Some people argue that
it is more preferable to use money to develop sports activities while others
contend that they must spend money on university libraries so that students can
work in a more comfortable place. In my opinion, universities must spend their
money wisely <-모호한 대답입니다. 주제에서 제시한 두 가지 중에 하나를 명확하게 선택해서 주장해주세요
so that everyone can benefit from it. This essay aims to
argue the advantages and disadvantages of having money spent on different
facilities.->이러한 내용을 자연스럽게 포함하여야겠지만, 주제문에서 물어본 것을 명확하게 대답해주는
것이 중요합니다. 본인은 둘 중 어느 것이 더 낫다고 생각하며, 이는 ~~한 이유들 때문이다-라고 하나를 선택해서 주장해주세요
First of all, it may be asserted that it is always useful to
spend money to enlarge the university libraries because it is a place where
most students spend their time on to study or to do their assignments.
Students will enjoy spending their time in a more comfortable library. ->근거 설명이 지나치게 짧습니다 On the other hand, students may also require sports activities
so that they can participate in a team and enjoy their campus life.
Developing sports activities will not only enhance cooperative skills, but also,
people will have provide an opportunity to great communicate with(등 동사) other students when they play sports activities. ->근거 설명이 지나치게 짧습니다 In conclusion, both spending on sports or
libraries have both positive and negative sides to it. In this
regard, I believe that universities must use their budget
wisely so that it can benefits everyone. Writing 0–30 score scale Limited(8-12)
에세이가 상당히 짧은 편인데, 독립형 에세이는
되도록 300자 이상은 쓰시는 편이 좋습니다. 일단 토플
라이팅의 경우, 주제에서 명확하게 ~~~라는 문장에 동의하는가
아닌가-라고 물어보고 있으므로, 대답을 동의한다/동의하지 않는다-라고 밝혀주셔야합니다. 현재와 같이 현명하게 써야한다-는 것은 상당히 모호한 대답입니다. 둘 다 중요하므로, Universities should give the same amount
of money to their students' sports activities as they give to their university
libraries.라는 문장에
동의한다-라고 밝혀주시고, 왜 sport activities에 투자하는 것이 중요한지-에 집중하여
설명해주세요. 수고 많으셨습니다^^ |