▶ Your Answer :The given topic of whether people
should spend money traveling and vacationing rather than saving it for the
future is thought-provoking. As far as I am concerned, I am in partial
agreement and partial disagreement with the argument for the following reasons.
->토플 라이팅에서는, agree/disagree 질문에서 한 쪽을 명확히 정해서 에세이를
쓰는 편이 훨씬 좋습니다
First of all, it is beneficial for
people to spend money traveling and vacationing since people can enhance their
outlooks and insights by experiencing diverse cultures and different types of
people. Admittedly, experiencing various things in person is one of the most
effective ways for people to broaden their perspectives. According to a renowned
professor, it is evident that it is important for people to have well-balanced
views in order to achieve success. This is
because when people are in trouble, having well-balanced views allows people to
make the best decision. He also goes on to say that traveling diverse areas
and experiencing new things help people gain well-balanced views more
effectively.(반복)
On the other hand, it is also
necessary for people to save money for the future. To be specific, people never
know when something might come up. It is possible for people to encounter
unexpected problems and need money for to solve the problems. My personal experience
can be used to prove this point. When I was in university, I used to spend
money traveling and shopping on impulse. I was poor at saving money. One day,
my laptop was broken, but I had a paper to hand in within a few days. I did not
have enough money to repair it or buy new one, so I had to use a computer in
the school’s computer lab. As
the lab was too noisy and distracting, I rarely concentrated on my paper. If I
had saved money, I would not have underwent any inconvenience. Therefore, I
realized through this experience how important it is to save money for
the future through
this experience.
Considering all of these reasons, it
is significant for people not only to spend money traveling and experiencing
diverse things but also to save money for the future.
Writing 0–30 score scale
Fair (16-22)
문장들이 자연스럽고, 반복되는 표현이 가끔 나타나는
것을 제외하고는 실수없이 잘 쓰셨습니다. 에세이 전체적으로도 매끄러운데, 다만 토플 라이팅에서 Agree/Disagree 주제가 제시되면
한 쪽을 선택해서 쓰는 편이 좋은 점수를 받기에 훨씬 좋습니다. 일반적으로 토플 주제는 controversial하고 찬반 모두 가능하므로, 단지 글쓴이가 어느
한 쪽을 정해 이를 설득력있게 풀어나가기만 하면 됩니다. 현재 각 문단을 별개로 보면 내용적으로도 설득력있으므로, 하나를 정해 일관성있게 설명해주는 것이 중요하겠습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다^^ |