▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that it is better to have friends who are
different from you. However, in my opinion, it is good for us to have analogous
to friends who are analogous to as me/myself . This is because it we can have more fun together
enjoying activities as well as understand better each other.
To begin with, similar friends can have more fun together relishing activities.
In detail, friends who are analogous to me allow avoiding argument or disagreement, which
results in getting done faster in everything and making a good memory
with friends. Let me bring about my personal experience. When I was young, I
had friends who are similar to me. He and I were perfect partners whatever we do since we had
analogous thinking. As a result, we were able to have a lot of enjoyable time
such as doing sports and volunteer activities. Even now, we often talk about
our memories, feeling happy.
On top of that, analogous friends can understand each other
better. To be specific, friends who are different from me are less likely to
understand my situation. These This usually cannot be of help to us when we need advice about
something. For instance, a survey was conducted by UCLA’s research department with 200 people. The
respondents were asked about what do you preference between similarity and diversity/difference or different personality in making friends. An overwhelming 80 percent of people
answered they preferred friends who are similar to them. This is because it is
obviously helpful to them when they go through a hard time and need a piece of
advice by feeling empathy better than friends who are different from them. This
result shows that similar friends can understand better each other. 많은 사람들이 주제에 대해서 나와 같이 생각했다-는 말 자체로는 설득력이 없습니다(많은 사람들이 이와 같이 생각한다고
해서 옳은 것이 되는 건 아니므로) 힘든 일이 있을 때 도움을 준 경험이나 이에 대한 통계자료가 적합하겠습니다
To sum up, friends who are similar to me have a lot of
advantages rather than friends who are not different from me. This is
because it we can have more fun time enjoying activities and understand
each other better. In this regard, I firmly believe that it is a good way to
have friends as similar to me.
Writing 0–30
score scale
Limited-Fair(15-20)
같은 표현이 에세이 전체에 걸쳐서 굉장히 많이 반복되는데, 이에
주의하시는 편이 좋겠습니다. 또한 두 근거가 매우 유사하게 진행되어서 구별되게 설득력있지 않은데 성격이
다른 친구와 있었을 때 문제가 발생해 어려움을 겪었던 경험 등을 제시해주어도 좋겠고, 힘든 일이 있을
때 성격이 다른 친구vs같은 친구 를 확실하게 대조하여 도움을 줄 수 있는 부분을 부각해주세요. 수고 많으셨습니다^^ |