▶ Your Answer :
In the lecture, the speaker asserts that the problems <- 무슨 problem
인지 이야기 해주세요. contended in the reading passages are possible to be
overcome. This casts doubt on the reading passage’s claim that a human expedition poses several
insurmountable problems.
First, the lecturer argues that the sound technology can
solve the dust problem. Particular high sound waves could dissolve dust
particles, and it can be easily blown away by winds. This refutes the reading
passage’s point that Martian
dust poses machinery and health threat to the solar panels, spacesuits, and the
astronauts.
Secondly, the lecturer says that the astronauts’ psychological problems can be
overcome. The astronauts are trained intensely before they take on the
expedition and be isolated from the earth for a long period of time. This
training includes various techniques that they can make a use of in Mars. And also
there is a counseling program which is a video-recorded therapist from which
they can get helps when the astronauts face anxiety or depression. This rebuffs
the reading passages claim that the prolonged separation could cause negative
psychological impact on the astronauts.
Finally, the lecturer says that the financial burden is
not a problem. Several nations can pool the cost for a manned Mars expedition
and alleviate the burden. The example of the collaboration of fifteen
countries in 1998 proves that a partnership is plausible. In addition, an
expedition would result in technical advances in many fields, consequently
leading to direct benefits for the countries. This challenges the reading
passage’s idea that a funding
a manned expedition would be difficult for one country to bear.
Writing 0-30 Score
Scale
Fair (17-23)
Overall Comment : Intro 에서 사건/문제 설명 더 명확하게 설명 해주세요. 무슨
problem 이야기 하는지 모르고, 앞으로 나올 내용이
무엇인지 모르곘어요. Body 1 에서, Dust problem 내용이
뜸금없이 나온거 같아요. Expedition 과 연관지어서 이야기 해주세요. Body 2,3 에서는 분량 조절 해주세요. 225자 이하로 쓰도록
노력해주세요. |