▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that it is better for students to study
alone because they are likely to concentrate on their study. However, in my
opinion, studying in a group plays a significant role in their development of
academic ability for the following reasons: to enhance academic interest interesting and
to study more effectively.
First of all, group study is helpful for students to be interested in attract
their academic subject. This is because Most academic materials easily cause causes student to be bored. However, when they
attend group study and share their difficulty, they can rise to challenge of
hard subject. Moreover, this would give opportunity to teach other peers
knowledge one understood. 여럿이 어려움을 나누고 서로 가르쳐주는 것과 흥미를 갖는 것이 무슨 관련이 있는지 잘 모르겠습니다. 직접적인 연관성이 있는 내용을 제시해서 설득력을 높여주세요. For example, when I enrolled in the psychology class
in my first grade, most peers had have a hard time struggling their assignment to
grasp their reference books. I told peers about my situation, and we had have a group study to
share ideas of each other. Not only could I can learn about the curious portion from
strong students, by doing so, but we also divided some parts of the whole tasks. By studying in a group, I could can get good grades with my study members. 마찬가지로 사례에서 '흥미'와는 전혀 관련 없는 이야기를 하고 있으므로 흐름이 맞지 않습니다.
On top of that, studying in a group enables students to carry
out their academic tasks effectively. This is due to the fact that group study
helps students to finish their homework with less time by splitting their burden
of study work. Not only that, students can access a lot of document because each
member researches their specific assignment, and shares the materials. In other
words, they can gain enough time to invest in other subjects study by attending group
study. According to a study conducted by the Youth Leadership Council, those who study studying in a group do better academically than those who cannot because they know
how to understand huge amount of a lot of materials and how to handle multiple classes.
Also, they can manage their time wisely and are better equipped to succeed
through their group study. These advantages far extend outside the classroom.
All things considered, studying in a group motivates students to
do better in their school by giving interest and extra time. In this regard, I believe
that group study makes students likely to
have possibility.
Writing 0–30 score scale Fair (17-19)
학생들이 흥미를 가질 수 있고 효율적으로 공부할 수 있다는 주장들은 모두 reasonable합니다. 하지만 친구들과 어려움을 나누면서 흥미를 갖게 된다는 연결은 다소 어색해 보입니다. 흥미로 연결되는 적절한 설명을 제시하거나 또는 어려움을 쉽게 해결할 수 있다, 하는 식으로 직접적인 내용을 주장으로 정리하는 방법도 있을 것 같습니다. 수일치 관련 문법오류가 많은 편이니 이 부분도 신경 많이 써주세요. 수고 많으셨습니다. ^^
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