▶ Your Answer :
Environment is a very important factor
influencing career and academic performance. Some people think that students do
not need to go abroad in order to study. However, nowadays most students want
to study abroad for many reasons. I think that the most important reasons are the
opportunity to learn foreign language, and better academic performances.
First of all, when considering the
opportunity to acquire foreign language skill, it is obvious that attending
schools or universities abroad is beneficial. Studying in other countries
enables students to be familiar with those countries’ languages, as well as to
study their major subjects. This is because they should use different countries’
language, not their mother tongue everyday. It makes the students cultivate the
bilingual ability, an essential requirement of intelligent people. In this
globalized era, moreover, it allows the students to have more opportunities to get a job.
For example, many companies such as SAMSUNG prefer employees who can use more
than one language. This is because they have broadened range of working areas
including oversea business and transaction with foreign buyers. If some
students were in the foreign countries, they could be employed to great
companies such as SAMSUNG more easily. In this regard, having bilingual
language skill is considerable advantage of studying abroad. 새로운 언어를 배울 수 있어서 좋다는 점을 장점으로 제시했으므로 사례 내용도 '실제로 해외에서 공부함으로써 새 언어를 배우는 데 도움이 된다'라는 점을 예증해주어야 합니다. 여러 언어를 구사하면 취업에 유리하다는 내용은 논점이 다릅니다.
Additionally, studying in foreign countries
leads the students to can make the better academic performances in one's specific field. To be specific, in
the countries where the study was born or have better environments for specific
fields of study, imbibing certain knowledge is more helpful for the academic performances.
This is because there are much information to access easily, as well as
cutting-edge technologies to treat those studies. For example, my major is history
of sports, and specific major is soccer. However, in my country, Korea, I had a
hard time finding useful information about soccer history. So I decided to
study in Brazil, the original country of soccer. The reason why I chose Brazil
is that there are many museums and universities whose primary researches are about
soccer. So, I could deal with much information about soccer, and published many
great papers. In contrast, my friends who studied still in Korea, suffered from
a lack of information about soccer. My experience can best illustrate that
studying abroad is helpful to make the better academic performances.
In conclusion, both factors, the
opportunity to acquire foreign languages and better academic performances, are
good reasons for studying in abroad. It allows the students not only to be
capable of bilingual language, but also to access much information about their
study.
Writing 0–30 score scale Fair (17-23)
언어와 자기 분야에서의 학문적 발전을 위해 유학을 택한다는 설명이 좋습니다. 다만 이를 설명할 때 '유학에 가면 이런 점이 좋다'라는 논조보다는 '이런 점 때문에 유학에 간다'라는 나의 주장이 잘 드러나게끔 논조를 설정해주면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 내용을 설명하는 과정에서 범위가 필요 이상으로 확대되면 논점을 벗어나거나 어긋날 가능성이 있으니 유의해주세요. 수고 많으셨습니다. ^^ |