▶ Your Answer :
As the power of broadcasting is becoming
greater, many entrepreneurs are more and more depend -> dependent
on diverse advertisements to lure customers. Some people who are disappointed
about their purchases blame that the commercials contain wrong information and
that the advertisements are just bad messengers that mislead naïve public.
However, I believe advertisements are advantageous. I would describe in further
detail. First of all, I do not agree with the idea that
commercials are not honest ->
honest 하다 라는 이야기 인가요? 맞다면
그냥 그렇게 써주세요. y. On
the contrary, the advertisements are under the regulation of National
Broadcasting Control Board and thereby they are forced to include only facts
about the products. For example, last year, a pharmacy company should have
abandon their commercial on TV channel since the company conceal the fact that
their product has a side effect and just presented merits of the medicine. The
company’s advertisements
were filtered by the National Broadcasting Control Board in advance to be shown
to people. Likewise, the advertisements, although sometimes we observe
exaggerations in the short commercials, do not mislead public with wrong facts
about the products and here is the reason that we can rely on the description
of the advertisements. Also, aside from the fact or not
in the message, the advertisements itself inspire us by showing a lot of
creative visual or emotional impacts. It is true that people are refreshed and motivated when
they find something that we never imagine as we are happy when watching an
unpredictable creature in the art museum. <- 어색합니다. For example, when I was in charge of
publishing our team magazine in the company, I usually refer to some newspaper
advertisements. Carefully observing creative words or designs, I got a lot of inspirations
and could come up with creative ideas about the magazine. I cannot imagine how
I could have managed the editorial task if there was no commercials in the
world. <- 광고가 정직하다는 내용과 무슨 관계가 있나요? To sum up, the advertisements are useful in many aspects.
They let us grasp the necessary information for purchases as well as let us be
inspired. Writing 0-30 Score
Scale Limited (0-16)
Overall Comment: 문법 실수 굉장히 많아요. 너무 많아서 하나씩 다 첨삭 할 수 가 없습니다. 문법 공부 꼭
해주세요. Body 2 내용은 off topic 입니다. 정직함과 관련성이 없는 내용입니다. Feedback 참고해주세요!
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