▶ Your Answer : Recently, there has been a arguement to whether we should add subjects such as art and music as mandatory school subjects along with math, history, and language. In my opinion, I strongly oppose to this argument (이렇게 주장하는 2가지 point를 짧게 요약해주면 좋습니다.). First, lets let us (축약형은 비격식체입니다.) say that we are underlying the situation of South Korea where it is teaching by rote and encourages high test scores (문장이 의미상, 문법상 전혀 성립하지를 않습니다.). It is obvious that if art and music is are (주어는 art and music, 즉 복수.) included in mandatory subjects, we would definitely be learning only theories or history without experiencing true art or music. (이 주장이 obvious 하다는 근거가 부족합니다. 좀 더 나아가 설득하세요.) It is clear because exam problems would be easy to make if we are learning from books. Other than that, there exist are already numerous institutes where it teaches they teach (대명사가 가리키는 것은 institues, 즉 복수.) music and art or even physical education arts (혹은 martial arts를 의도했는지?). Besides that, most schools offer after school activity after-school activities comprised of those kind of subjects. It is more effective for proper education because those who are interested will be the students to learn, not every students occasionally including ones who are not interested at all in education. In this way, classes wouldn’twould not have disturbance and will be able to have high quality classes. (이것이 미술과 음악을 콕 집어서 반대할 이유인가요? 학원이 많다 = 필수과목으로 지정하면 안된다? 음악, 미술 학원보다 수학, 영어 학원이 훨씬 많은 것 같은데...) To sum up, art and music cannot be true mandatory subjects because of the current curriculum and because already many institutes and schools have programs concerning art and music. The education center (?) will eventually make ways to produce exam problems easier which is by teaching theory and history prior to true experience (뒷받침하는 논리가 전혀 없는 주장입니다.). Writing 0-30 scale Fair(17-20) TOEFL 독립형 글쓰기의 채점 기준은 적어도 300자 이상을 기술할 것을 요구합니다. (현재 235자) 논리적으로 설득력이 떨어지는 편인데, 각 문단의 주장을 구체적인 논리로 발전시키면 분량 문제 또한 해결할 수 있을 것입니다. 또, TOEFL Writing은 academic writing skill을 측정하는 시험입니다. 따라서 구어체와 비격식적인 표현을 피하고 정확한 영어를 사용해야 합니다. 대명사를 쓸 때에는 앞선 문장들에서 가리키는 대상이 명확히 드러나는지를 반드시 확인하고 써야 합니다. |