▶ Your Answer :
Some
people believe that all university students are suggested to take at least one class in
connection with the culture of a country other than their own. However, this
essay will contend that it is unnecessary to ask all students to take that type of classes. This is because it is difficult for students to know about
other culture by just taking these classes. Moreover, not all university students
but university should give students the right to select a class that they want.
To
begin with, taking a class in terms of the culture of other country does not
help students to acquire the cultural knowledge enough. Even though the class
might teach students about general information of a country such as the
population, traditional clothing and language, the class will not give students
practical information such as the way young foreign people think or more local places.
There is the limitation that students can assimilate cultural information and
experience by taking classes about them. Rather, giving a chance to meet foreigner
would be more efficient to students. Thus, forcing all students to take the
class would not be effective. For example, when I was in high school, my school
required to take a class related to the culture of other country to students.
However, even if I invested my valuable time for the class, I could not
communicate with foreigner since I had no interest on the culture of other
countries. On the contrary, when I had the opportunity to travel abroad to the United States, I learned that people smiled at each other on the street. The culture was
dissimilar with my country because the practice was odd in South Korea. --> 실제로 해외에 직접 방문하여 ~한 점을 더 잘 배울 수 있었다는 부분을 강조하여 수업과 현실의 대조를 분명하게 묘사해주세요.
In
addition, students have the right to choose a class that they want. The compulsion in terms of taking the classes about the culture
of other country would make students have no interest on learning about other
culture. Moreover, students would waste their precious time by taking the
class. Students are busy because they should concentrate on studying their
academic subjects that is important for their career path (본 내용에서 university students 로 이미 주제가 한정되었기 때문에 대학을 진학한다는 내용은 맞지 않습니다). Therefore, when the university helps students to choose subjects freely, students can economize on
their valuable time and can focus more on their studies effectively. For
instance, the education system in South Korea seems to be representative case
corroborating the fact that the system is contributed to improve the ability of
students. In the past, the government tended to impose students to only required classes. The policy made the grade of students decreased. However, in
the present, the government decided to guarantee the right of students. Thus, the
government converted their policy, allowing students to select courses without restriction, and students
could increase their grade by only focusing on their studies that they want.
To
summarize, there is the restriction to (본인이 작성한 이유를 명확하게 요약하여주세요) provide students cultural information by
only taking a class, and moreover a university should compel all students to
take at least one class in connection with other culture. Considering the two reasons above, it is unwarranted that all students should take a class in
relation with other culture.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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LIMITED
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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