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Your Answer :
There are a lot of advertisements in television
programs (in) these days. I think many companies firmly believe that it is the
best way to advertise their products and I agree with this idea. Of course, I
admit that too much advertisement can give
the viewers (some) negative images about the products. Nevertheless, no one can
say that it is not efficient. It’s because
there are a lot of advantages to the company and
the television program as well. (especially both of the company is
trying to sell their stuffs and the television program.)
First, this is the best way they can promote
their products. It’s because there are so many people who are watching TV programs nowadays and they are also
interested in everything in the show. (with
actor and actress from shows.) For example, people today tend to buy products such as clothes and bags that their favorite TV stars
wore on the screen. (have similar clothes, earings and bags to
celebrities from TV.) I also (have an experience I) bought the same clothes that the main actress wore on (as main actress’s
from) my favorite TV show. This is the main reason why
many companies are trying to promote their
products in TV programs. According to a (Following the) book I read a few
months ago, the more attractive actors and
actresses are, the more positive impact they have on the products that they
promote. (it says that more attractive the actors are the more the
positive images about the products with the actors will increase.) It is another
reason why most companies want to display their goods (show their stuffs) in popular
television shows. (Anyway It’s evident it is the efficient promotion method
companies can’t give up easily.)
Furthermore, it is also helpful for the
television programs to improve their quality. (A lot of people already know
about it though,) It is true that broadcasting
companies earn huge profit from
advertisements. This money can be spent on making better studios, paying their employees and casting more popular celebrities. What I want to say is that
these advertisements are helpful for the viewers to watch a better show. However, the only thing that
companies have to consider is (about their advertisements is that they
make advertisements) not to interrupt the
program too much with the advertisements. If
advertisements disturb viewers, they will have
negative images of the products and the companies. (the viewers don’t
think only they can’t focus on the story but they also have the negative images
about the products.) (If promotion companies only care about this, they can
show their products to the viewers who may be their customers as best as they
can. 무슨 의미인지 모르겠네요.)
Writing Score (0-30):
18 - 20
Score (0-5): 2.75 – 3.00
Grammar &
Feedback: 문법적 오류와 어색한 문장이 많았습니다. 첫 번째 body paragraph에서 제시하신 예시에 설득력이 부족 합니다. 그리고 conclusion paragraph가 없습니다. 수고하셨습니다.