▶ Your Answer :
Some people would say that it is less important to utilize land for human
needs such as farming, housing and industry than to save it for endangered
animals. However, I have a different idea. I believe that using land to acquire
various utilities for humans is more important than saving endangered animals.
There are two reasons for this.
First of all, people have to use
land to obtain various advantages such as
housing, farming and development of economy because there are serious problems, such as that many poor people do not have a home which to stay in
they stay. It is very significant for them to get a home since having a house
is directly related to survival. If the poor do not have where a place to live, they would have a hard time living in
lifetime. For example, in Africa, many people have died due to a lack of home. Many experts
only focus on endangered animals, which results in serious problems. Even if preservation of animals
is an important matter for world, people's
thoughts need to change. in more significant
problems. Therefore, it is more important to use land for humans than for animals
Secondly, making use of land for
humans is better than for animals since the society have has
to be more developed. In order other words,
these days, poverty have has increased
gradually. So, people strongly want to develop economic aspects and desire the advance of technology. The best way to
solve the problem of poverty is to improve our economy. The more farm land and
factory are constructed,
the more society's profits would increase. For instance, my country South Korea underwent a war called the Korean
War sixty years ago. As a result of war, our
society is was destroyed and needed to be revived. So, the president
decided to develop the industry and technology
rather than saving animals, as by constructing
various buildings and factories. After a number of contractions are were built, our nation quickly overcame hardships. I
think the reason why this result happened is
that people used properties
in order to develop the
nation's economy.
To sum up, utilizing land to
improve the nation's
economy is more important than preserving living organism endangered animals because the poor have a hard time laking
living in houses.
Therefore, I strongly agree with the idea that it is important to use land for
humans than animals.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Limited (0-16) |
Score |
16 |
Overall
Comment: |
포인트를 잘 잡고 예시를 잘
잡으셨지만, 문법 오류가 매우 많아서 감점을 많이 드렸습니다. 큰 오류들은 아니니 위 지적사항들을 참고하시고 글을 작성하시면 더 높은
점수를 받으실 수 있을 거에요. |
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