Undoubtedly, politics play a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that students are more interested in politics today than they were in the past, while others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I had to choose one, I would say that students in the past are more interested in politics.
To begin with, currently students are busier than those in the past. Nowadays, students should study a lot of subjects such as computer, and they make an effort to become superior to others. Thus, they usually study all day long due to increasing competition, and then, students today have little concern for politics. For example, my sister who is 14 years old always spends the whole day studying all academic subjects, hoping that she would be able to outdo others. After school time, she usually meets a personal teacher to study mathematics, and then, she goes the private educational institution. Thus, she does not have the time to attention to other things such as politics. As we can see from this compelling example, students cannot have interests in politics nowadays.
On top of that, students enjoy their hobbies in their leisure time. In the past, students had only a few hobbies such as reading newspapers and reading books, and thus, they were interested in politics. On the other hand, nowadays students have a plethora of hobbies such as computer games, and then, they do not look the politic issues. Thus, during the rest, current students enjoy their various hobbies, not reading politic issues. For example, I usually play computer games with my friends when I have a free time; in other words, I do not read the newspapers about politics since I enjoy my free time playing other things. On the contrary, when my mother was in high school, she had read newspapers because she could not do other activities due to protest. Thus, she naturally had interests in politics. In the light of the archetype above, present students can do a wide array of activities compared to those in the past. As a result, current students are not concerned for politics.
All things considered, I strongly believe that current students do not pay attention to politics unlike those in the past. All in all, this trend will continue and pass down to the next generation.
Good (24–30)
첫번째 본문
-become, be, get 같은 동사 superior 앞에 필요합니다.
두번째 본문
-when 문맥상 필요합니다.
-문맥상 과거이므로 concern-->concerned
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수고하셨습니다~~