▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly,
listening to others plays a significant role in people’s daily lives in that many of the
places where people work or play. Some people believe that best leaders spend
more time listening to other people than talking their ideas while others do
not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were
asked to choose one, I would say that best leaders try to listen to other
people’s thinking than talking their ideas. There are several reasons as
follows.
To
begin with, lListening to other people’s opinion can strengthen their the emotional
bond between the leader and the members and feelings of security in their relationship. It gives leaders them a chance to
socialize with their team member by getting to know, understand each other, and
spend spending more time with them. Being with their team members tend to prevent disunity of them from
separating their team. For example, many research teams, including the
university of Kyoto, analyzed data from two groups of CEOs. One group consisted
of those who spend more time listening to their employees employs than conveying their his
ideas, and the other group was made up of those who spend more time talking their his
ideas to their employees employs than listening to them. The researcher found that the
former was more likely to make a higher profit than the latter. CEO가 내부 평판이 좋은 것과 기업이 더 많은 수익을 내는 것은 아무런 관련이 없습니다. 앞부분 설명에서 조직의 유대감을 높이는 데 도움이 된다는 주장을 설명했으므로 사례에서도 조직 내 유대감과 내부분열 방지에 초점을 두고 장점을 설명해주어야 일관성이 유지될 수 있어요. In particular, the
first group showed a higher empathy, a better reputation in the company, and a
better teamwork. On the other hand, the second group tended to show a low empathy, a
lower reputation in the company, and better poor teamwork. This implies that
listening is key to success as a professional leader.professionally. Without listening to other people,
one would fall behind.
All things
considered, I strongly believe that in order to be the best leader, listening
to other people is important especially in today’s cynical society. All in all,
the importance of listening to other people cannot be overestimated in life.
Comment : 주장에서 제시하는 내용과 사례의 내용이 잘 연결될 수 있도록 흐름에 더욱 신경써주세요. 템플릿을 활용하다보면 주제에서 어긋나는 내용이나 글 전체의 일관성이 맞지 않게 되는 부분이 생깁니다. 이런 부분들을 주제에 맞게 잘 다듬으면서 활용하는 연습을 많이 해주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 여러 가지 주제로 연습하시면서 시간 내에 논리에 맞춰 응용하는 연습을 해주세요. 수량표현 관련한 문법오류가 많으니 유의해주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3/5 An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following : - Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications and/or details (일정 수준의 설명과 예시를 활용하여 문제의 요구사항을 해결함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured (문맥이 모호한 부분들이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 어느 정도 드러남) - May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning (문장의 구성 또는 어휘의 선택에서 내용의 명확성이 떨어지거나 의미 전달이 불분명한 부분들이 있음)
- May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary (답안의 내용은 주제에 부합하지만 제한된 문장구조나 어휘를 사용함)
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