▶ Your Answer : Some people think that getting a job their parents have is not good for their life. This is because they could not select the job considering their capability but instead of just following their parents’ life. However, I think having a job same as their parents’ is beneficial for their career. This is because parents can become a good teacher for providing them with good information to get into the field and become a best supporter to their career. First, parents having a same job as mine can offer good advices when I make a plan to get the job. Parents already experienced the process that I have to undergo to go into the field so parents can offer a the most effective way to get the job. For example, my mom is a teacher teaching history and I also majored in education of history. When I suffered from preparing exam for becoming a history teacher, my mom gave me a lot of helpful tips to get great score in writing exams. Next, parents having a same job as mine can become a my best supporters in the career field. This is because parents went through a diverse things in this field in a long time. If I faced a hard problem, parents can give a solution based on their experiences. For example, I had hard time due to my naughty student last year. My mom talked about her worst student who she meet in first year of her career. This story made me think about what becoming a good teacher is. To sum up, people can get advice on how to prepare for getting jobs from their parents and also they can get a best supporter after getting the job. That is why I think it is better for young people to choose a job in the same field as their parents.
Fair (20-23)
서론 -바꿔준대로 쓰시면 더 자연스러운 표현이 됩니다. -can 넣어주셔야 자연스럽습니다. 미래/가정의 이야기이기 때문입니다.
첫번째 본문 -최상급 앞에는 the -문맥상 과거이므로 suffer-->suffered 두번째 본문 -첫번째 본문과 같은 대상의 예시입니다. 예시는 두 본문이 상이한걸 쓰셔야 설득력이 올라갑니다.
전체적으로 내용면에서 더 보충해주세요. 본인의 이유에 대한 설명을 더 해주세요. 또한, 예시도 두 본문 다 나와 엄마로만 이루어져 있습니다. 두 본문의 이유/예시가 상이해야 글의 설득력을 높일 수 있습니다.
수고하셨습니다~~
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