▶ Your Answer :
Some people argues that
people do not have to experience diverse jobs before having a career. However
in my opinion, people need to have a variety of experiences and then they should decide their a career.
There are two reasons; First, having a diverse
experience helps people have a successful career. Second, through different
jobs, they can make many human relationships.
First of all, experience is one of the factors of making a successful
career. In other words, I think experience is one of the most essential factors
(essential factors of what?) in this world.
Imagine people only have a one job`s
experience. Their views will be so narrow. By doing different works through diverse jobs, they can not only gain diverse
experience but also boraden broaden their
horizon of the world. There were was a
poll conducted by the Board of Korean CEO, with 500 CEOs as respondents. The
purpose of the survey was to understand the consensus
view about the success
factor in the business area in today`s society. The majority of respondents
ranked diverse experience through different jobs over one experience in a
specific field. An overwhelming 85% replied that experiencing different jobs helps
helped them make a successful career. This was
because they could utilize different skills that they learned through different
jobs. This survey demonstrates going through different
jobs is an important factors in a successful
career.
Second, people who have different jobs can make diverse human
relationships. Today, the meaning of success has
completely changed compared to the past. In the past, it was merely focusing on
one`s own way to exceed others; now it is
different. Along with your own ability, it is crucial to have people who can
lend you a hand when you are in trouble. In the sense, experiencing different
jobs would be helpful in making a successful career. I take For an example, take Kyun-Hee Lee, the CEO of Samsung. a successful
CEO in the South Korea, Kyun-Hee-Lee who Samsung CEO. I read his
autobiography. He experienced different jobs
when he was young. He had jobs like labor in factory, repair work, and salesman. He written wrote that he made met
many people who helped him when he was in trouble in this book.
To sum up, there are two reasons on why
experiencing various jobs are advantageous for a successful career; having diverse
experience and building new human relationships. that diverse
experience and making human relationship by doing different jobs help make a
successful career. In this regard, I frimly firmly
hold that people need to have different jobs before making a career.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Fair (17-23) |
Score |
20 |
Overall
Comment: |
예시를 잘 적으셨고 포인트도 잘
잡으셨지만 문법 오류가 많고, 철자 오류도 가끔 있었습니다. 위 지적사항들을 참고하세요. |
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