▶ Your Answer :
Some people might think that the extended family still has an important
role these days. This is attributed to the fact that many important events are held with extended family members. However, in my
opinion, the extended family looses has lost
its importance today for two reasons.
First of all, modern people usually live apart from
their family because of their schools or getting desired jobs. In the past, it
was true that people had to get their jobs or go to universities near their
houses because it was hard to move far away. As this made people live together,
that family might be have been more
important for them. However, thanks to the development of transportation such
as cars, trains, or airplanes, it has become much easier to move and therefore
people’s radius of life has been enlarged. So, the trend of living apart from
their family to get their new jobs or enter universities has formed and for
those people, the extended family has become
less crucial than before since they cannot easily meet them. According to a
private survey conducted by Seoul National university of Korea, most of
surveyed respondents answered that they were living alone or in nuclear family
form. They also responded that they met their cousins or grandparents less than
twice per year, so they were not too close to each
other. This trend demonstrated that the extended family has become less meaningful to the modern people.
Moreover, advice and lessons that were once from
extended family members can be available in the internet. One of the most
important values that come from being with the extended family is that family
members can give valuable lessons or advice to each
other that they have learned or experienced. However, due to the advancement of
technology, especially the internet in modern days, people can find information
much more easily that they wanted or hear other people’s experiences even if
they don’t know each other directly. This means that people don’t need to ask to
their family members because any information or comments about something are
accessible with just one or two clicks if they use the internet. To be
specific, when my mother was a high school
students, she got lots of advice from her
uncle, Oliver who was the only person around her who
graduated from the university. she said that those advice were really helpful
and he is still her mentor. However, when I was preparing to enter my
university, I didn’t have to contact with my cousins because any
information about the university could be obtained in the internet community.
There were many various advices such as socialising
socializing in the university, doing a part time
job effectively, and how to adjust to a new
environment. Like this, extended family members are no more than just
friends who meet sometimes for me. This implies that in the present, the
extended family looses has lost its
value, so it is not as crucial as before.
In conclusion, the extended family looses has lost its importance. This is because modern people
usually live apart from their family because of their schools or getting
desired jobs, and advice and lessons that were once from extended family
members can be available in the internet.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Good (24-30) |
Score |
26 |
Overall Comment: |
포인트를 잘 잡으셨고 예시도
좋아요. 템플릿 활용을 잘 하셨어요. 다만 문법 오류 및 철자 오류가 좀 있어서 감점을 드렸으니 위 지적사항들을 참고하세요. |
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