▶ Your Answer :
Some people say that spending time with
many friends is more important than with a few close friends. However, in my
opinion, making a few the best friends is more crucial. This is because those close
friends can be great force in your life. Also, eEven if you have many friends, most
of them would go away over time.
First, having the best friends is more good
choice. To be specific, they will not leave from you even you are in trouble. Also
if you have any good things, they will celebrate you and if you have bad
things, they will always be on your side. They are your patrons who do not
betray you. Therefore, whatever you do in life, you will not be afraid of it.
For example, I have had six friends who are the best friends to me from middle
school. Although we are not living at a same city now, we have got together and
hung out every two months. Thus, I have had a lot of good memories y which makes me
happy. Also, when I was depressed because of Korean SAT in high school, they
cheered me up, so I could finish my exam successfully.
Second, having many friends is not necessary.
Suppose that you have made lots of friends from different schools and places.
Would it be possible to keep in touch with them for a long time? The answer
would be no. This is because you will be busy and have many things to care over
time. Then, most of them will be far away from you and a few close friends will
remain. As such the important thing is to cherish your close friends. For
example, I was a captain of my football club in my hometown and it led me meet
many people and make new friends. Most of students who were same age with me
did know about me and I was proud of that. However, after entering a university,
I did not have much time to hang out with all of them so the contacts
decreased. Three years later, most of them did not keep in touch with me and
everything became the past things. Only a few friends have remained and they
are my best friends.
To sum up, making a lot of friends will not
be useful later. Moreover, the best friends will not betray you, and also you can
have good time and memories with them for a long time. In this regard, I prefer
to have some close friends rather than to spend time with lots of friends.
Fair (22-23) 서론 -그냥 best friends는 a few close friends를 꼭 내포하는 의미는 아닙니다. -대소문자 오류
첫번째 본문 -a lot of뒤에 있으므로 memory-->memories
결론 -주어+동사, 주어+동사는 also로 이을 수 없습니다. and를 넣어주세요. 전체적으로 내용이 약간 애매합니다. a few close friends가 best friends라는 설명을 더 덧붙여 주셔야 본인의 주장이 더 설득력을 가집니다. 또한, 예시를 좀더 객관적인 예시들을 들어주세요. 또한, 문법 실수들 유의해주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~
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