▶ Your Answer :
It is often said that people can benefit more from
traveling around their own countries than traveling abroad. However, in my opinion, traveling to foreign
countries can benefit more.
First people can hear various kinds of peoples’
thought. Since people grew up in all different cultures and religion, they can
have different thought in the same topic.
Also, you can exchange personal experiences and opinions
too. So it will be helpful to expend your knowledge while talking to all
different kinds of people from foreign countries. when I traveled to Raous, I met
a lot of people and we shared our thought about the idea of when people travel to
foreign countries they should go to famous places or tourist area like Eiffel
tower or gili trawangan or they should experience local’ (문장이 너무 기니 중간에 한 번 끊어주세요). And it really helped me organizing organize my own
opinion and some of their opinions actually changed mine. and this would be
hard if i didn’t visit foreign countries.
Secondly, you can taste exotic cuisines. To be specific
all countries have their own specialties in food. So you can try unique dishes
and spices, although some food can be found in your own country. (위 두 문장은 합쳐주세요) But lots of kinds of
food can only be found in their origin countries. Also it will taste better
when it will is cooked properly with exact ingredients and spices, for
expecting and to experience that you should go to the origin country. I had been to a
Vietnam and tried rice noodle soup and it tasted totally different form from the ones sold which selling in my country, Korea. So if someone really wants to
experience a foreign dish, I think they should travel abroad, and not
looking for restaurants which are located in their country and sell foreign foods. (위 두 문장도 합쳐주세요)
For the conclusion, I think by going abroad can
benefit people more. They can exchange their thoughts and opinions with people
from all different culture and religion. also they can try exotic cuisines
which can’t be found in their own countries. For these reason i will tell
people to travel abroad instead of traveling around their own countries.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Fair (17-23) |
Score |
22 |
Overall Comment: |
문장 구조 연습이 필요하신 것
같습니다. 문장을 너무 길게 쓰실 때도 있고, 합쳐야 하는 문장들도 많이 보였어요. 문법 오류들은 위 지적사항들을 참고하세요. |
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