▶ Your Answer :
Do you believe that children are capable enough to make decisions on their own future? Some may disagree by arguing that children are not mature enough to determine important decisions in life thus parents should spend time helping them. However, I believe that it is better for children to be more independent in the decision making process for two reasons which I will discuss in the following essay.
First of all, the involvement of parents in determining the future of their children may hinder them from searching for their real area of interest. Usually, parents want their children to get a stable job that has high salary. Typical jobs include doctors, lawyers and engineers. With their preference for these jobs, children may decide getting a stable job that their parents want, without considering what they really enjoy doing. For instance, my parents wanted my sister to be a doctor not only because she had a high GPA enough to get into medical school but also because she could get a high pay. She never wanted to be a doctor but decided to apply to medical schools just because of our parents' desire. Currently, she is an E.N.T doctor but she often tells me that she has never enjoyed studying the medical field since the first day of college. This personal experience of mine substantiates that parents involvement in the decision making of children regarding their future can be rather detrimental.
Second of all, children can learn how to develop skills to become more independent and capable of decision making. When entering society, people face countless and various situations that need decision making. Thus the capability of making decisions is an important trait that children needs to develop. However, parents helping children can hinder this trait from developing when they spend much time or even more time than their children to make decisions for the children's life. Children loose their independency and is highly unlikely that they can make great choices in the future. Instead of being independent, they are likely to rely on others. Even the current Korean president, who had strict parents that decided everything including his major in college for him, once said in a public speech that he was incapable of making decisions and struggled to work with others in college. Clearly, parents helping children to determine future careers may not always result in consequences that can benefit the children.
In conclusion, parents should not spend too much time and effort when determining their children’s future since it can impede them for searching for their true interest and hinder them from developing skills to become independent individuals who are capable of decision making.
Good (24–30)
두번째 본문 -철자오류 loose-->lose 본인의 설명과 예시에서 좀더 뚜렷하게 본인 주장과 이어주세요. 첫번째 본문도, my sister 이 어떤 안좋은 영향을 받았는지 구체적으로 써주시면 좋고, 두번째 본문에서도 Korean president가 어떤 어려움이 있었고 independent 했다면 겪지 않았을 어려움이라는 것을 강조하는 방향으로 써주세요.
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수고하셨습니다~~
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