▶ Your Answer :
The lecturer argues
that three factors that are related to the cause of the
collapse in the reading passage have inherent
flaws. This contradicts the reading passage’s claim that attitude of governors,
drought, and struggles between Pepi’s sons are the
reasons of the empire’s collapse.
First, the
lecturer argues that it is highly unlikely that
governors revolted against the monarchy. This is because they were in
privileged positions and received additional
rewards. So there was no benefit to oppose to the pharaoh. Also, at that
time, Egypt has had a strong army. If
someone revolted against the pharaoh, he or she would have
been easily subdued. This casts doubt on
the reading passage’s claim that governors opposed against the rule of the
pharaoh.
Second, the
lecturer claims that historical documents were misinterpreted. According to him, Actually, drought localized
only in the eastern side and other sides had no
noticeable change in climate. This counters the reading passage’s
claim that there was a severe decrease in rainfall. (이 문단이 다른 문단에 비해 조금 짧습니다)
Finally, the
lecturer points out that it is not true that struggles between pharaoh’s
sons led to the fall of the empire. This is because there are were many succession related rivalries before but the dynasty
did not collapse. And fights between siblings were common at that time. Also,
Egypt was well organized. This refutes the reading passage’s claim that conflicts between the
pharaoh’s sons led to the empire’s collapse.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Fair (17-23) |
Score |
22 |
Overall
Comment: |
문법 오류가 많습니다. 통합형은
비교적 짧기 때문에 문법 오류가 있으면 더 많은 감점이 들어갈 수 있으니 조심하세요. 세 번째 문단을 더 길게 써주시길 바래요.
수고하셨습니다. |
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