▶ Your Answer :
There
are some disagreements over whether or not travel by a tour guide is the best
way to travel. Some people believe that travel with a group by a tour guide would lead to
effective and successful trip. My view, however, is that trip with a group is
not the best way to travel. Rather, free trip is more applicable and efficient
travel for people. This is because there is no limitation of time. Moreover,
people can learn about other culture and practice meticulously.
To
begin with, people are not necessary to comply with regulated time. Trip by a
tour guide sets the rules and has the plan for travel, which is because the group
tour is involved in a myriad of travelers. A tour guide needs the rule to
control them effectively. However, a person who travels alone without the
limitation does not need is unnecessary to abide by the rule and the plan. This is due to the
fact that a person can decide determine and plan by themselves. For example, when I
was a university student, I planned had the plan to go to U.S alone. Even though I It was
difficult to decide all of things such as the restaurant where I had to eat and
the place where I had to go, I was felt comfortable because I had no limitation of
time, which made my plan me more flexible. When I wanted to stay at a place that I was
captivated by, I could just remain for a long time and watch more.
In
addition, people can acquire other cultures and their practice deeply. The group tour
hinders people from watching and talking with foreigners, which is due to the
fact that a tour guide should control them for the and there is next plan. In On the
contrary, a person who travels alone is able to have the opportunity to
communicate with other people and watch more landscapes. It is clear that
people can remember what they watched for a long time and even they can
assimilate the knowledge on the other culture and practice. According to the
study conducted by a team of at Korea University, more than the two-thirds of the
surveyed students mentioned that they could memorize what they watched for a
long time when they travel alone. They had the similarity when the research
examined. The similarity was that the responded students had the chance to talk
with others from the place where they went as well as the time to watch more
meticulously. As a result, to enjoy trip in an effective manner, the research
recommended that people who had the travel plan had to travel alone.
To
summarize, people who travel alone free from are unnecessary to follow unnecessary rules or the plan, and
moreover they can learn about other culture and practice more deeply.
Considering the above two reasons, it is evident that people have to travel
alone, which is the best way to travel.
Comment : 유연하게 계획할 수 있고 더 구석구석 볼 수 있다는 주장을 잘 제시해주셨어요. 내용을 설명하는 과정에서 비슷한 내용이 반복되면 논리가 약하다는 인상을 주기 쉬우니 단계적 구성이 드러나도록 꼭 필요한 요소들로 설명을 이어주는 것이 좋습니다. 표현도 반복적으로 사용하기보다는 더 다양한 표현이나 문형을 활용해서 제시해주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 수고 많으셨습니다~! Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3.5/5 An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following : - Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated (완벽하지는 않지만 문제의 요구사항을 대부분 잘 해결함) - Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications and/or details (적절하고 충분한 설명과 예시를 사용하며 대체로 글의 구성과 전개방식이 양호함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections (중복된 내용이나 관련 없는 내용, 불분명한 연결이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 드러남) - Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning (글의 의미를 손상시키지 않는 범위 내에서 사소한 문장구조, 단어 형태 오류를 보일 수 있으나, 전반적으로 어휘・통사적 다양성을 갖춘 유창한 언어 사용을 보임)
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