▶ Your Answer :
The development
of technology has brought a lot of changes in global society including
politics, cultures and so on. (Mention more, rather than using "and so on") One of the causes of these changes is television. (Awkward sentence) Although When this form of media can be an effective tool to save people’s life, it can
also be harmful. Therefore, I think TV this great tool should be used as a method
to instruct people rather than entertaining them.
First of all, the
changes in government policy can be informed by television. (So that?) It is true that
several medias such as newspaper had been deliversing important news and changes
in policies to the public. But it had many drawbacks, because it is ineffective when
informing (What?) a crowd of people. It is also ineffective to deliver the news to
rural areas far away from the city. But this new media can deliver all
important news in much faster rate. Also, nowadays the majority of people get
information from the television and internet rather than newspaper or radio.
This is proven by a survey done by a large news center. In the survey, the
researchers asked people the source of information they usually use. It turned
out that over thirty percent of participants get news through television. (Need to include concluding part)
Another reason
is that TV because it is effective to urge people to take action when there is danger.
Usually television uses several visualizing methods to convey the information
and it can help people feel that it is important to prevent harm. When a
disaster is predicted, this visualizing methods can be much more effective than
written words. In an experiment done by Seoul University, a group of students
were asked to watch a video of a disaster and read a news article about the
same disaster. Then they were asked to compare their feelings after they watch
and read the two news. Over half of the students said that the video gave more
impact to their thoughts and urged them to take action. This shows the
effectiveness of instructing people using television.
To conclude,
television should be used as a tool to instruct people rather than
entertainment. Television can convey information to a lot of people and to
those who stay far away from the city. Also, it can be helpful in delivering news about
impending danger in a very effective manner.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | Score | Fair 16-19 | - 논지에서는 자신의 주장을 밝혀주셔야 합니다.
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