▶ Your Answer : Undoubtedly,
friend relationship plays a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of
places where they work or play. Some people think that spending time with one
or two friends is better than with a large number of friends, while others do
not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were
asked to choose one, I would say that mingling with a variety of friends is
more beneficial to people to achieve their successes in lives. There is a reason as follows.
To
begin with, having time with many friends of different backgrounds broadens
people’s horizons. Communicating people from variety of circumstances exposes
them to different life styles, customs and cultures. Such exposures are likely
to help them acknowledge that different values exist to understand these
diversities and be ultimately comfortable with them. For example, Seoul
Research Center found a huge difference between two groups of young adults in abilities
to social networking. One group consisted of those who had over 300 of the Facebook
friends, and the other group was made up of those who had fewer than 50 of the Facebook
friends. The researchers found that the former was more likely to have
open-minded and kind to anyone. In particular, the first group showed more acceptances
when they got the friends requests from foreign countries than latter group by
37 percent. On the other hands, the second group tended not to accept friends
requests from different countries from their nations. This is because they wanted to share their
information only with a small number of their close friends. Also, they were likely
to be reluctant to share with foreigners their daily live postings on the Facebook
such as pictures, comments, and likes received from their friends. However, the
former group had a tendency to share their lives with more people, so they got more
chances to reduce prejudices from abroad people and have more opportunities to improve
their social skills. This implies that interacting with many friends of different
cultural basis is the key to expand people’s mind. Without socializing a lot of
friends, one would be isolated.
All
things considered, more networking with a large number of people is helpful to
people’s daily lives in enhancing their traits. All in all, I strongly believe
that putting in time with many of friends with lots of backgrounds is better in
lives. (400 words)
궁금한점이 있는데요 - 바디 1개만 꽉 채워서 써도 제대로 쓰면 괜찮다고 들어서 1개만 꽉 채워서 썼습니다. - 시간을 보내다, 가 어떤 신체적인 활동?으로 볼 수 있을 것 같다는 피드백을 받긴 했는데... 여기 지문에는 못썼지만, facebook에서 서로 채팅을 하거나 포스팅 피드백을 하면서 소통하는 시간 자체도 더 많다 라고 써주면 괜찮을까요? (노란색으로 표시 한 부분에 300명이상이고, 하루에 2시간 이상 쓰는 사람들/ 50명 이하이고 하루에 30분 이하로 쓰는 사람들) 아니면 예시 자체가 잘못 되었을까요. 근데 시간을 더 많이 보낸다고 했을 때.. 뻔한? 예시만 생각이 나서요.. 예를 들면 2명이서 테니스 연습 하다가 6명이서 팀으로 짜서 연습 했다 던가 하는 거요..
바쁘실텐데 첨삭 해 주시어 미리 감사 드립니다. :)
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