Some people might prefer classes with lectures and almost no discussions is better than to classes with open discussion between the professor and student and almost no lectures. In my opinion, however, I prefer classes with open discussion with two reasons. Students can learn how to communicate with others and also they can gain more specific knowledge in debate on how to debate.
First, students can learn about relationship with others. There is saying “Who you know, what you do, that makes you succeed.” In the past, people was focusing to gain on gaining one’s own knowledge and excelling others. Now it is different. It is crucial to have people who can lend a hand when you are someone is in trouble. In this sense, in the discussion classes can help to get people to can care me when I have a hard time because they can learn about communicate how to communicate with others. For example, when I had a problems with my history report about ancient Roma. It was too hard to deal with, because there was so many information. Thus, I could not choose which one to put in my report. I think it is impossible to handle, so I almost gave up. However, my friend Jane who are in my debate class gave some tips how to write the essay. She notices what I need, noticed what I needed and said just put in what classmate want to know about Roma. I accepted that advice. It worked very well, also I can could get a high grade. I wonder how she knows my situation. I asked to her and she said I know your face when you are in trouble because of our class. 예시가 주제와 어긋나는 거 같습니다. 이에세이의 주제는 수업에서 토론이 좋은 지 아님 교수가 모든 수업을 강의 하는 것이 좋은 지 입니다. 하지만 이 바디에서는 토론에 대한 상관없는 예시와 설명이 나온거 같습니다. 토론을 할 때 사람들이랑 서로 소통하면서 관계 형성에 있어서 좋은 점이 있었다 이런식으로 풀어나가는 것이 더 좋을 거 같습니다.
Second, people also get more knowledge in discussion classes. When preparing a discussion, we have to examine in detail. Thus, they we can gain much more information. Nowadays, the society require for people people to have a wide variety of knowledge. A person with sufficient knowledge regarded as a person who intelligence are intelligent while others who lack of knowledge can be simply ignoreㅇ by people. For Instance, my major is history. Some of my friends who in major are major in economics, they think I do not know about economics terminology. they often show off by using “their own words”. One day, always they did, they talked about their major and disregard others who are not major in economics. They also ignored me, so I said some words that usually be used in economics field. I learned that words in the discussions classes during investigate information that would be used in classes. After I said some terminology, they did not neglect by using difficult words for boast their knowledge. 이번 예시도 주제와 어긋나는 거 같습니다. 자신이 모르는 것에 대한 사람들의 무시 그걸로 인해서 토론을 통해 배웠다는 논지와 조금 어긋나는 거 같습니다. 차라리 토론을 통해서 여러사람들이 한 주제에 대한 다른 의견을 통해 좀 더 많은 정보를 얻게 되었다라는 식으로 에세이를 서술하는 것이 좋을 거같 습니다.
To sum up, I prefer debate classes for those reasons. Students can learn about relationship with others and also they can get lots of knowledge.
Fair: 17~23
점수: 18
일단 전반적으로 각 바디의 예시들이 주제와 어긋났습니다. 에세이의 주제인 토론 수업의 장점에 대한 예시를 중점으로 에세이를 서술하셔야 했는데 그런것이 많이 부족해 보이는 에세이엿습니다. 또한 제가 참석한 부분을 보면 문법적 오류들도 있은 보고 참고하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.