■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.
■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
▶ Topic :people can deal with problems on their own, so government assistance isn't necessary
▶ Your Answer :
A large number of people might say that people can deal with problem on their own However, I strongly believe that government assistance is necesary necessary. there has many problem that I have to comfront. I can solve most of them but there obiously exist the problem that I can not overcome. (이 부분을 통하여서 말하려고 하는 것이 무엇인가요? 이해가 되지 않습니다)
First, goverment have government has strong power. They can solve the problem more efficient way. For example, when we become a victim of crime, most of all are struggle with them to arrast struggle in terms of arresting. At that time, government solve solves this problem in short time compare to deal with our own way. They can use CCTV and a lot of contentd to catch a crimial content to catch the crime.
Next, they have obiligation to assistance their citizen. The reason why, we regulary pay a tax and we refund by well fare and some kinds of assistance. In the law, there has written what the government has to protect the people who live in their own terriroty and also has duty to save them when they are in trouble.
To sum up, the government have to assistant civils and they solve problems more efficient way.
For this reasons, I am amply support the opinion that the government support is necessary.
Fair: 17~23
점수: 17
일단 이 에세이를 통해서 무슨 말을 하려고 하는 것인지 모르겟습니다. 인트로에서 부터 시작해서 결론 까지 전반적으로 어떠한 의견을 제시하려고 하는 것인지 이해가 되지않습니다. 이 부분 뿐만 아니라 전반적인 에세이가 짧기 때문에 구체적인 설명이 많이 부족합니다. 구체적인 설명이 빈약하기 때문에 좀 더 이 에세이의 주제를 찾지 못하는 것 같습니다. 에세이를 서술할 때 좀 더 구체적인 내용에 중점을 두면서 에세이를 서술하시는 것이 좋을 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.